After an overwhelming response from my readers on how to spice up Saphan Loy, we have decided to add a new feature to the blog called “Girl of the Week.” In this segment my assistant Lek and I will spend an inordinate amount of time looking for that special combination of looks, personality, and absence of sexually transmitted diseases that really gets our motor running. If ya know what we mean.
Our search took us to the most unlikely of places, through the narrow sois and alleys of our fabled city of angels. We peered into every nook and cranny, under every rock, and in every empty toilet stall we could find at the bus station. It also helped that we had some nifty GPS coordinates (courtesy of BigBabyKenny.com) that helped us when we were traveling farther afield into the rice padis and jungle outposts of Thailand.
Without further ado, let’s look at the girls that made the cut this week.
There was something about the way this peach was sitting here all by herself at 10:30 AM, just chilling with a few cold bottles of Bia Chang. Nothing says “come hither” like a cold one first thing in the morning. And her yellow football jersey, gray shorts, and furry brown bracelet really got my old ticker pounding in a way that I couldn’t easily blame on the Kamagra I was chewing all morning for breakfast. She seemed a bit shy when I snapped her pic, but that’s what we especially love about these Thai lovelies. They are demure, modest, and, more importantly, minx-like between the sheets. Not that I would know since Saphan Loy readers know that I don’t partake as I limit myself to masturbating about the ladyboys in Nana Plaza. Another positive about this one was her total lack of tramp stamps. What’s not to love?
Next, we made our way to a little place I have known about for a while. I won’t give it away here, as I like to keep my little honey spots all to my self. It’s not much of a bar. More like a little hut on stilts where the beer is lukewarm, and the stuff that is burning in the little pipe on hand is awfully suspicious. That’s not to say I didn’t try some. Lek was encouraged as well, but hell, she’ll put anything between her lips. And who are we to be such terrible guests? Not much is recalled from this visit. But after a hazy afternoon of beer drinking and pipe smoking, those beautiful brass rings around this little piece of long-necked candy started to wobble and shimmy in the hot sun, luring me to her body like a giraffe in heat.
Okay. Next up on our list of Thai hot-spots: Pattaya. We don’t normally get down to the shore very much, but when we do, all bets are off. It’s usually me and Lek and a bottle of whiskey or two. Sometimes Lek even picks out the lovelies for us. How do you say “ménage à trois” in Thai? Anyway, I wouldn’t really know as I don’t partake.
Now, normally, the farang women in Thailand don’t do anything for us. It’s not that I have completely gone native. It’s difficult to find a nice farang in this country. But just as I was about to give up in Pattaya while working on this assignment, there she was. Like a dream come true. A true paradigm of womanly beauty and virtue. I started scratching my head and wondering what had taken me thousands of kilometers from my home country, and why I gave up the birds like this that I sadly left behind. I don’t know if it was too much drink in me, or the Kamagra talking, but I just needed to get her picture. I even got a wink while I was at it.
True, this one had a tramp stamp. But she almost made it as Saphan Loy’s girl of the week.
So this final one really took the cake. I found her in a Bangkok go-go bar, though it’s not really a go-go bar per se. A mate of mine owns the place, though there’s no signage, no music, and it’s kind of a sleazy dump. It’s basically one room in an old shop-house and it’s not located anywhere near a tourist destination. It used to be a sewing machine repair shop. Basically, he has a few girls there who are not allowed to leave the premises under threats of physical violence and psychological coercion. My mate told me these girls will go with anyone for the price of a bottle of Singha. I got there just around midnight, and I said, “Okay, who do you want me to do?”
And his eyes lit up and he said, “you mean…?”
Then I said, “Don’t be such a silly boy. So silly. Why are you such a big silly man? Silly brute. I don’t partake! I meant whose picture do you want me to take?” Then I swatted at his big burly shoulder, the way a girl might.
He said, “That’s what I thought. Right, mate. I forgot. ‘You don’t partake.’ Okay, okay. Whatever.”
I spied this little fox all alone in the corner. There she was, the poor thing. But she had that Thai thing going on that really made my night. Cute face, no tramp stamps, shy smile. The perfect combination. At first I thought she was applying makeup, but it was really dark in there. And since I didn’t want to bother her, I shot her from a distance, the way a creepy guy with a zoom lens is apt to do.
Here she is, folks. Saphan Loy’s “Girl of the Week!”
Thanks for all the great suggestions for starting this new segment of the Saphan Loy blog. As long as there are batteries in my digital camera, I’ll keep working at it.
The View from Above