Archive for March, 2011

Big Bisexual Kenny Outs Garden Variety, Half-Baked California Motorist

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2011 by สะพานลอย

How utterly embarrassing. Were Saphan Loy a university professor making such an egregious mistake, we would stick our head in the sand until the next tenure review and hope for the best. For those who are completely ignorant of who John Galt is, let Saphan Loy enlighten you. John Galt is a literary reference to a character in Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged whose dubious brand of “objectivism” clearly still appeals to Californians who are under the influence of medical marijuana. That Big Bisexual Kenny did not know this before now is a sure sign of an intellect the consistency of cookie crumbs.

These bumper stickers have appeared on countless faded sedans and ganja-reeking jalopies driven by crispy critters and fruitcakes of all shapes and sizes, bearded or otherwise, across the left-leaning states of the Republic. Unfortunately, this poor old hippie now has BBK to thank for having his or her license plate number zapped across the Internet for all and sundry to see.  Aren’t there federal laws against this? Scratching head…..

Saphan Loy plans to make sizeable donations to the Ayn Rand Institute in Irvine, California, in the professor’s name. We encourage you to do the same.

 The View from Above

Shanghai’ed: Big Bisexual Kenny Plugs the Ladyboys

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2011 by สะพานลอย

BBK has joined Stickman in exhibiting his clearly bisexual preference for Thailand’s notorious ladyboys. Interrupting a long sabbatical, BBK has returned to his dubious blog in order to share with us some of his culturally sensitive and academic photography: a young ladyboy dancing provocatively on the top of some kind of vehicle. A closer inspection of the young ladyboy shows that his feet are a dead give-away. They are large and malformed (with a crude little ink stain on the ankle for a tattoo). It is also clear that there are some obvious kathoeys who are enthusiastically watching and recording this heartbreaking display of poverty.

The good professor has no qualms about supporting two industries here: the ladyboy industry that sends feminine young men to the chop shops in Bangkok every day, and amateurish and possibly impromptu sex work in the fields of some agrarian ghost town. That the professor is Asian (and able to pass as a local) clearly afforded him a place at the front of the crowd, while he snapped some poorly floodlit pictures for our enjoyment. Ahh…Spring Break, Southeast Asian style.

Alcohol and sex enhancement drugs clearly affect perception. This is a common motif among the nightlife blogs lately. Not only are the authors attempting to fob off ladyboys as actual women, but they are also clearly deluded and seduced by their ubiquity in Thailand. Could it be that the entire nightlife blogosphere has now been penetrated by ladyboys? Given BBK’s homophobic rhetoric and extremist sympathies, this is an unusual move for the good professor.

Not content to exploit Thailand’s working poor, the economics professor also takes the opportunity to attack China in a bizarre fashion. His flimsy regurgitation of an uninteresting article is an enfeebled attempt to point out differences in sexual mores among Asian cultures. It is as if to say: My academic photographs of Asian whores are reflective of all populations in Asia, including the Chinese. Hell, they are all whores.

At any rate, weary reader, you have been warned. With the bisexual conversion of the Stickman to the beguiling charms of ladyboys, and now the bisexual truth about BBK, is there a writer among us immune to their persuasian? The Asian persuasian?

The View from Above

The Big Baby Kenny Disaster: Oh, the humanity!

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , on March 25, 2011 by สะพานลอย

The Precipice of Disaster

One of the more interesting aspects of blogging, and the ways in which it has altered the digital landscape, is they more or less require constant refreshment. A morbidly dying blog needs dramatic resuscitation in the event of its immenent collapse. It will shed readers fast if it is not constantly refreshed. That the more popular Thai nightlife blogs ignore the refreshment rate necessary to preserve and multiply readership is strange: Stickman refreshes his paid advertisement (weekly blog) every Sunday, William R. Morledge and Dean Barrett refresh once a month preferring the colours pink and purple, and assorted “old media” types are even less frequent. What is clear is that those who do update regularly (Big Dummy KennyMobithailand, Big Mango Bar blog, and Bangkok Buddy) typically see sustained growth in numbers because they are satisfying market demand. In fact, BDK’s site has surpassed BBK in numbers and has essentially shifted the playing field in its favor. BBK’s neglect has cost him readers and, in the long run, has turned his site into a virtual wall of graffiti: not unlike the walls of a shitter in a public men’s room. Perhaps this is the effect the professor is looking for? For a good time, call…

It has been clear for some time now that the BBK blog has been abandoned to all but a few lonely, schizophrenic and probably homeless men posting commentary from a public library somewhere. A high limit poker room? Hardly. More like an uncomfortable teacher’s lounge at a large, mediocre state university, where tense, resentful smiles are exchanged in lieu of pleasantries. 

In reviewing the blogs this week, sadly Mobithailand is also lamenting a precipitous drop in readership, including his own personal friends. It turns out that living a sober life in Pattaya is not all that inherently interesting. Poor Mobi  has resorted to posting pictures of his well-groomed pets. At any rate, Saphan Loy is still a loyal reader, even if his other readers would like him to go on a binge and drunkenly careen his car into a poorly-constructed bamboo beer bar at four in the morning.

Sukhumit Psycho is now peddling a guide to massage parlours in Bangkok (in addition to something he calls “premium content.” ) Saphan Loy did not realise that having one’s testicles rubbed with coconut oil is such an obstacle for some sex tourists, but apparently it is. We would like to get our hands on a review copy, obviously, but for moral reasons, we are unwilling to pay a single baht and thus subsidise such “market research.” If you have a copy you’d like to share for review, please contact us. But let’s wish him the best of luck…there are masseuses all throughout Thailand who are relying on a steady stream of eager and aroused customers who are unable to articulate in Thai (or their own language, or sign language, for that matter) that they would like the genital region included in the cost of the “traditional” oil massage. And that they are unwilling or unable to pay more than twenty dollars.

The View from Above

Saphan Loy’s Cocktail Party Etiquette

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by สะพานลอย

Circulating, as Saphan Loy does from time to time, among the elites, defined here as urbane, sophisticated, and worldly, we occasionally find ourselves in an awkward position. To profess an interest in Thailand or even Asia for that matter is inviting the kind of curiosity that is not easily dispelled by an avowed affinity for the temples, the culture, the spicy food, the weather, the blah blah blah. It is fairly rare, therefore, that we mention it at all. Spying a young woman across the room, for example, and desiring to make her acquaintance, it is not possible to discreetly sidle up to her and ask, “Have you ever made use of a fucksaw before?” Or, “How much would you pay to bar fine a ladyboy?” Or, my personal favourite, “Have I told you about the time I needed an intravenous injection of antibiotics in Pattaya?”

Usually, such conversations would appall the various people that Saphan Loy, because of his prestigious and cosmopolitan connections, encounters on a daily basis. So, more often than not, we remain silent about our reading and writing diet. It makes for an easier evening. It is much simpler, say, to merely imagine a woman at the cocktail party making enthusiastic use of a fucksaw, or envisioning her husband on a barstool in Pattaya beguiled by a passable ladyboy.

This partly explains why for many men, the temptation is too great to simply abandon one’s country of origin in favor of a like-minded social milieu in which such frank discussions no longer are out-of-place, or out of line. Congregating in the bars and online fora that are dedicated to sex tourism in Asia, these colourful, sometimes dangerous characters reenact a kind of verbal horseplay that is redolent of adolescent lust and obsession which can also turn to hatred, envy and villainy. A casual perusal of the Thai nightlife fora will reveal the lengths men go to in order to display prowess and success. The colourful avatars, the ranking systems, the various levels of posting rights all attest to this.

Which brings us to the outward symptoms of the Thai fetish. This is a variant of the Asian fetish, obviously, with some critical differences. First, someone who suffers from a Thai fetish is also intimately addicted to certain and outdated concepts of third world sex relations. There is a clear typecast of sex tourist that emerges. They tend to look the same, dress the same, and speak the same language.

For example, Dean Barrett, one of the foremost apologists of Thai brothel and prostitute consumers, has two such locations to fetishize: China and Thailand. Further, he has written of his enjoyment of bondage and dubious kinky sex acts with Asian dominatrices, women whom he pays to crossdress and whip him into submission. It is clear that the simple fulfillment of the first fetish led, as a result of, say, boredom or having run out of more traditional choices, directly to the second one. Also implicit in the arrangement is the supposed reversal of power and role: the dominated woman (the Thai bargirl) becomes the dominant, exotic Mistress (after receiving adequate payment, though substantially less than one might receive for similar services in the West.)

You, handsum man, bad man jing jing. jai rai! You be dog my.” 

BDSM in Thailand is a curious thing. In a country that still has a systematised endemic form of slavery, the sex play that constitutes slavery is a fairly recent option on the Thai menu of sex services, no doubt expedited by Western desires. It represents the third world outsourcing of developed world fantasies. I wonder what the statistics would reveal about this subject in Thailand itself? Is this a viable form of sex play? Are there exclusively Thai dungeons in Bangkok? Are the whips, instruments and furniture evocative of the Marquis de Sade, or a simpler rice farmer beating his water buffalo with a bamboo switch? Insofar as it is part of the human sexual imagination, such slavery and discipline scenarios likely exist among the Thai middle and upper classes. Hard to say for sure, though. What is sure is that the overwhelming majority of Western writers and bloggers about Thailand’s red-light districts link directly to the fetish clubs in Bangkok (there are two well-known public locations, and at least one private club).  

Whatever the case, Saphan Loy will certainly bring the matter up at the next cocktail party. 

The View from Above

Stickman Plugs the Ladyboys

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , on March 21, 2011 by สะพานลอย

In the world of advertising, there is a certain category of product endorsement called, depending on where you live in the world, the advertorial or the “infomercial.” Here is a Wiki reference to a good example from the early 1960s for the sale of toupees. The way an advertorial works is that it is disguised as an informative article or a simulated television programme, often complete with a kind of talkshow “host” and an interviewee, but in reality it is a lengthy, thinly-veneered advertisement or endorsement of a particular kind of product. Anyone who has ever watched a television after 3:00 AM as a result of insomnia knows how ubiquitous these infomercials really are.

Stickman Bangkok employs this age-old advertising technique in nearly every one of his weekly updates. Nowadays, there is very little content on his site that is not an advertisement or product endorsement in some kind of disguise. This week’s entry is no different. Perhaps reflective of the economic realities of the red light districts of Thailand is a shift away from the employment of actual women of the demimonde to the employment of men who can pass as women in the bars and brothels throughout Southeast Asia. Some young Thai men, for example, must surely know that given certain feminine features or predilections, their potential to earn an income as a certain kind of woman increases significantly above, say, what a motorcycle taxi or tuk-tuk driver earns.

Stick’s story this week is one that serves as an extended commercial for the Ladyboy Escort Services that are advertised via a banner ad positioned directly under the main story. It is written in a coyly naive and somewhat misleading way. Sure, the Frog Bar features prominently, but because the narrator “refuses to pay a barfine”, the reader, whose interest may be aroused by a kathoey bar in Pattaya, is left with more questions than answers. How much is a typical bar fine at a kathoey bar in Pattaya? The correct “answer” for the reader who prefers ladyboys would of course involve the Ladyboy Escort Service that is prominently displayed, whereby, presumably, one pays the ladyboy directly for his services. So, the lesson is, no bar fine required.

Make no mistake: there is nothing inherently wrong with ladyboys or an advertisement for their services. What should be pointed out, however, is that the reader is being sold a product or service within the body of the story itself.   This is not really rocket science, but it is like selling hair replacements to an already bald audience.

And so the moral of the story? Avoid ladyboys? Naah. The moral of the story is to avoid bar fining a ladyboy by using an escort service (conveniently plugged directly beneath the story).

Still, Saphan Loy wonders what the real story behind the story could have been had it been even remotely more interesting. Hmmm… (rubbing chin and daydreaming):

Now, normally in Pattaya, I never pay bar fines. It’s just my policy. Always has been, always will. I am tighter than a two dollar watch. But there was something about this young woman, maybe it was the deeper voice, the protruding Adam’s apple, the hands of a basketball player, or the odd resemblance to a guy I knew in high school. Or maybe it was just the effects of the Singha beer. Hell, I guess I had lost count at five. Whatever it was, I decided that this time, I would pay a bar fine. It wasn’t really a money issue. I knew my advertising revenue from the ladyboy escort service and the bondage club was padding my bank account with depreciating baht every day. Sometimes I didn’t even check my balance. That’s how good I have it. Plus, I was, after all, in Pattaya….what the hell, right? When in Rome….

So, I eagerly paid the mamasan, who smiled knowingly, and I barely tried to conceal my desire for this strange man/woman hybrid. She was very direct with me, even while we innocently played Connect Four and had some quality “girl talk” in Thai. I generally like an “in-charge” kind of gal, so this increased my desire for him and I knew that I was in store for some pleasant memories. She kick-started her motorbike and I sat behind her like her farang bitch prize. We raced off into the tropical night and I grew dizzy with expectation. It was late, so I didn’t care about the other expats and sex tourists giggling at me as we made our way past the bars and clubs.

She took me to a part of Pattaya I had never been before. I was feeling especially protective of my camera. What if he/she took me to a remote spot and beat and robbed me? What if he/she put something in my drink and I was already under its effect? What would happen to my camera and my ATM card? These were thoughts I quickly put out of my head. I knew well enough about these kinds of things happening to less-experienced guys. I was looking forward to for once being one of the young women I always dreamed I could be. Just like the ones I try to capture in my loving photos, so beautiful. Suay mak mak. Anyway, we get to this sordid looking place somewhere on the outskirts of town. In his deep froggy voice, he commands, “Wait here.” I obey meekly for what seems like an hour. I hear what sounds like an argument coming from the little guest house. My heart is racing. Should have popped a Xanax, but too late for that. “Follow me,” she commands. Again, I do as I am told as we make our way to the front door of this little guesthouse of sorts.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m expecting too much, I think to myself apprehensively. Something a little more, well, romantic. Maybe my fantasy won’t live up to the reality of what is about to happen. Suddenly, she almost kicks open the door to this small dimly-lit room. Is she going to carry me across the threshold, like in an old movie? That certainly would be more romantic. I wouldn’t feel as cheap and nervous as I do now. Where is this headed? Does this mean that I am gay? Of course not, I persuade myself. Again, my reasoning seems compromised by the Singha, but I can hardly contain my excitement all the same. All of my years in the red light districts of Thailand have not adequately prepared me for whatever awaits in this little foul-smelling room on the outskirts of Pattaya. It’s not too late. I can always make a dash for it. So what’s a little เสียหน้า? Meanwhile, I hear the shower running from the bathroom. The small lizards dart about on the walls in the dull glow of the fluorescent lightbulb….

That was all in good fun. We of course know how the story really ended. Fairly anti-climactic, so to speak. And another moral of the story to remember: a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs before, well, you know the rest.

The View from Above


For similar vintage advertisements, see

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , on March 20, 2011 by สะพานลอย

The plot thickens…this is interesting news. The quote that really evokes the disorderly image of a mad throng of registrants elbowing each other out of the way and waving registration applications in the air:

“In order to provide an orderly process for members of the registrant community and to use our resources effectively during this intervening period, ICM has decided to undertake the first phase of the Industry Reservation Period,” the group’s site said.

The Big Baby Kenny Unhinged: The Economics of Mental Illness

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2011 by สะพานลอย

Not since Emil Jannings appeared as Immanuel Rath, a professor completely corrupted and humiliated in the “The Blue Angel” (1930) has a man been reduced to such disgraceful levels of indignity. Big Baby Kenny Ng, once an enthusiastic scribbler of his night-time adventures in the far-flung bordellos of the world with Asian women less fortunate than himself, and boring reviews of Thai restaurants in the United States, has been reduced to an only marginally sane loose cannon, converting his Thai nightlife blog into something that mirrors his deranged fantasies and has become a bully pulpit that reveals instead the depths of depravity that the red light districts of Southeast Asia helped to create.

from The Blue Angel (1930)

Foregoing the actual writing of content, the economics professor has instead written long indecipherable screeds against Stickmanbangkok (who represents the pinnacle —  or nadir, if you will — of success in the whole sordid niche market of brothel writing), self-authored commentary that reveals the identities of his enemies (whether real or imagined), all the while denigrating homosexuals, prostitutes, and women generally in the multiple voices of a fictional cast of characters. Reading the literally dozens of self-authored commentary is like reading the transcript of someone who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, sexual obsession, and terrifying delusions. Ignorant of new federal laws that protect against digital harrassment and impersonation, Ng focuses his enmity on other writers and bloggers by disclosing personal details, Facebook account information and actual photographs of his putative enemies. Topics include the 9-11 conspiracy, anal sex, sexual relations with university students, and anti-Semitic colloquialisms.

What is clear from this mess is that the California State University system allows such great latitude for its professors. Freedom of expression is certainly protected within the US Constitution. But the kind of degeneracy posted on is without any veneer of narrative or academic structure, cohesion, and comprehensibility. It is accompanied by exploitative photographs of women who have not signed model releases in the United States, and whose images reveal instead reluctant victims, dancing for the depraved desires of a lonely sex tourist starved for affection.

Saphan Loy To Publish the Bangkok Black Book

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , on March 16, 2011 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy is now accepting pre-orders for The Bangkok Black Book: The View from Above. This intimate portrait and all the salacious details of the characters, places, web legends, tall tales, unofficial history and stories that make Bangkok such a fascinating place will bring you to the heart of the dirty places that require prior innoculations and a strong constitution. Available wherever fine fiction is purveyed.

Check back for updates and teasers. To advance order your copy, or for all editorial inquiries, email

File:Diogenes looking for a man - attributed to JHW Tischbein.jpg

“This guy is the Christopher Hitchens of the Thai Whore Blog World.” — Big Black Gulliver (

Please also remember to help Dean Barrett exceed his bandwidth and facilitate his personal bankruptcy. This will severely curtail his curious habit of licking clean the dirty, splay-toed Thai and Chinese feet he so adores, thus relieving these poor women of their degradation. His brilliant perspectives on Thai nightlife and Islam can be found here.