Archive for September, 2011

Pussy Magic Razorblades

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , on September 24, 2011 by สะพานลอย

Last week, Stickman announced that Dean Barrett will be entering a boxing ring for charity. He called it the “Clangers from Bangers.” Barrett, a legend in his own mind, is a local typist who writes little stories based on the degradation of sex tourism and the pure astonishment that women he pays will actually sit on his lap. As Saphan Loy’s readers well-know, we find his content to be objectionable and written with the literary flair of a 12 year-old. But enough. It will be satisfying to see Barrett take his lumps like a man. It would be even more satisfying if he were paired against a heavy-weight ladyboy, but that spectacle would be more like a gift from God.

Stickman reported that Barrett will go against Colin Hastings, a local publisher. All proceeds from the event (that appears to promise an abundance of scotch whiskey) will go to the charity Rescue the Bar Girls from Dean Barrett’s Lecherous Paws and Protect the General Public from His Pathetic Prose. Saphan Loy is all for charity events. Especially one with lots of scotch on offer.

So, in the spirit of this event (literally) we offer you a new poll of likely outcomes for Dean Barrett’s ill-considered boxing debut. As this blog post title suggests, Saphan Loy would encourage Barrett to use illegal means to achieve cheap points and to avoid the utter humiliation he routinely pays Asian Dominatrices to administer. Namely, a “magic” razor blade discreetly concealed in one of his boxing gloves. Best of luck, Mr. Barrett, from your friends at Saphan Loy.

The View from Above

Pussy Change Water

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2011 by สะพานลอย

For those of you following at home, you may notice that our posts are titles taken directly from the helpful menu of live shows available on Patpong. This one, “Pussy Change Water”, is curious for a variety of reasons. From my degrading memory, I seem to recall seeing a woman transfer the contents of a water bottle into a glass, though, of course, this memory may be impaired for a variety of reasons. Let’s try to decipher it, shall we?

We know that some women (or at least as it is sometimes depicted in pornographic websites) are “squirters” and are somehow able to “ejaculate” vaginal fluid at great distances. Whether they are employing some crude carnival trick or not, perhaps only a circus clown can give you an answer. My theory that “squriters” are in fact playing a kind of trick was once challenged when Saphan Loy witnessed in one particularly vulgar pornographic clip what appeared to be a woman “squirting” while the man was fully penetrating her. You could clearly see on the video clip a stream of fluid run down the man’s erect, inserted penis, as though she were actually urinating. (She was “seated” on his lap, facing the camera.) Whether she urinated or produced an abundance of vaginal fluid is difficult to tell. You are, of course, welcome to make your own conclusions about the myth of “fejaculation.” But Saphan Loy remains skeptical.

We cite here in its entirety some literature from Wikipedia on determining precisely the nature of the supposed fluid that women produce during this hypothetical situation, while noting that most scientists have neglected the simplest test of all: The taste test.

Nature of fluid

Critics have maintained that ejaculation is either stress incontinence or vaginal lubrication. Research in this area has concentrated almost exclusively on attempts to prove that the ejaculate is not urine,[43][63] measuring substances such as urea, creatinine, prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP), prostate specific antigen (PSA),[6] glucose and fructose [64] levels. Early work was contradictory; the initial study on one woman by Addiego and colleagues reported in 1981,[30] could not be confirmed in a subsequent study on 11 women in 1983, [65] but was confirmed in another 7 women in 1984.[66] In 1985 a different group studied 27 women, and found only urine,[46] suggesting that results depend critically on the methods used.

A 2007 study on two women involved ultrasound, endoscopy, and biochemical analysis of fluid. The ejaculate was compared to pre-orgasmic urine from the same woman, and also to published data on male ejaculate. In both women, higher levels of PSA, PAP, and glucose but lower levels of creatinine were found in the ejaculate than the urine. PSA levels were comparable to those in males.[5]

Pussy Breaks Water

The other option in this show is that possibly the performer “breaks water.” This would be even more mordantly repellant than the actions described above. Who would be interested in viewing this? When a woman “breaks her water”, she, of course, is actually giving birth, so such shows would clearly be available only at the finer hospitals and with special permission, presumably, of all concerned parties.

Finally, if we can all recall from our catechisms, we know that Jesus Christ changed water into wine. Now this is a demonstration, were it available on Patpong, that would surely attract attention, for a variety of reasons. The establishment would indeed be able to serve as a wine bar and a live pussy show: an elegant combination indeed.

Pussy Drinks Water

So what occurs in reality when the “Pussy Changes Water?” Or, better yet, what happens when [a] pussy is “charged” a few baht for water?

Photo of pussy changed water courtesy of BBK.

We suppose, ultimately, that it is anyone’s guess.



The View from Above