Sordid Ark Spotted Floating Down the Chao Phraya River

With a ladyboy dominatrix whipping the bare shoulders of the oarsman, Dean Barrett, and with Chris Coles barking orders, a strange and sordid and crudely cobbled together boat was seen bobbing on the Chao Phraya River earlier this evening. Manned by a motley collection of bar girls and ladyboys, the wooden craft did its best to deal with rising waters and several sprung leaks. And not the kind that happens when Barrett wets himself.

In the hold of the little boat, an ailing Bernard Trink was being administered intravenous antiemetics by a topless Khmer girl who also fed him what was left of the provisions, which consisted mainly of 100 Pipers whiskey, durians, some jackfruit, and warm satay. The scene of degradation was, according to bystanders, awful to behold. Barrett, in his loin cloth, looked old and emaciated as he desperately tried to row the craft while the dominatrix lashed him and berated him for his lack of physical strength. Stephen Blather was nowhere to be found, likely hiding in the stern, quaffing warm bottles of Chang and washing down whatever pills he takes to erase his imagination completely.

At this rate the craft is scheduled to enter the Gulf of Siam sometime tomorrow morning, or around the time a new Stickman column comes out. Whichever comes first.

Rendering of the Ship of Fools

The View from Above

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