Archive for February, 2012

Requiem for the Fat Man

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , on February 29, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Not with a bang but a whimper. — T.S. Eliot

The Big Baby Kenny Ng has been knocked off the airwaves, and we are hopeful that the cause was his own guilty conscience.  He should find solace in the fact that he joins a long list of personalities who for a brief moment illuminated the world with their insights into the brothel districts of Thailand by lighting a candle rather than curse the darkness:

  • Bernard Trink
  • Dean Barrett
  • Werewolf
  • Baron Bonk

Murati Shrine, Courtesy of


Sadly for the students and taxpayers of Califronia, as well as the citizens of the Kingdom of Thailand, the BBK disaster has returned to the airwaves. It is likely that the Fat Man tripped over the webserver power cord, or spilled some beer all over a particularly important piece of system hardware, or hit the wrong key on his keyboard with his Mongoloidal ham-fists. Saphan Loy will endeavor to keep you informed should anything even more egregious result from that depraved part of the United States.

The View from Above

Pussy Magic Flower: Roaches, Ladyboys, and the GFE on Khaosan

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2012 by สะพานลอย

For those of you following everyone’s favourite economics professor, this may come as a shock. His alternative blog, formerly has been removed for a Terms of Service violation. Now, truth be known, it was clear that this particular blog wasn’t really our cherished Professor Ng’s work. Professor Sexpants probably got a sore ass from having his identity replicated by someone with a clear agenda, one that included calling attention to his actual and degrading writings of yesteryear. For Ng to complain to the folks at WordPress because someone stole his identity is a real riot, given the fact that he has engaged in that strategy on his site for a very long time. Whatever the truth, what goes around…you know the rest.

Like clockwork, the Stick has presented his annual homage to the ladyboys. They were due for their plugging, and plug them he did. And good for them. Their nasty stories were compelling evidence that the great majority of sex tourists in Bangkok have likely encountered a ladyboy, and have, in turn, been penetrated. This is not a surprise. Saphan Loy would venture a guess that ladyboys now account for the majority of sex workers in the bars. If you don’t believe it, then your own form of self-delusion is more potent than a tall bottle of Chang beer.

A plague of cockroaches! That’s exactly what the Stick encountered on his way to interview a few snaggle-toothed escorts for his latest and greatest. He reported that shortly after his cheaply constructed condominium was nearly demolished by a rainfall, the Stick went out into a sea of dirty water to bring us a feeble interview with Isan’s poster-girls of bad dentition. Like Indiana Jones, he became covered in cockroaches while standing in floodwaters in the red light district. Ho hum. Were the Stickman more resourceful, he might have handed over the roaches to the insect vendors for a tidy little profit. Ultimately, though, I think that the rainfall, the roaches, the shitty flood water, and the mediocre interview with the call girls have all the hallmarks of a bad Biblical prophecy. Had it happened to Saphan Loy, we would have taken it as a sign from God that our work in the impoverished red light districts of Thailand should come to a merciful end, and that we should make a full confession to our parish priest, or the abbot of the local temple, and issue an apology to our readers.

Over at the Big Mango Bar blog, this recent post nearly forced our analytical skills into overdrive. Was it legitimate? Was it written by a woman, or, worse, Professor Sexpat Ng? Was someone trying to take the piss, as our British friends like to say? Clearly, the writer suffers from a subcranial deficiency of some kind. One of the most repellent paragraphs from the whole train wreck of a story is the following:

We take a taxi to Khaosan Road — we start cuddling in the taxi and she steers my hand down to her pussy so I can finger her (covered by her purse) — I consider if I should take her to a bathroom when we arrive at Khaosan Road and fuck her, as I’m pretty turned on, but wasn’t sure how she’d like that, so I hold myself back and instead we get a roti with banana and chocolate sauce and a beer at a bar.

What in Christ’s name was this man thinking? Checking her oil in the taxi, then going for a roti on Khaosan Road? How romantic. And how completely unhygienic. Saphan Loy would only travel to Khaosan for one of two reasons: sudden and irreversible poverty, or a desire to bone a sweaty European backpacker chick with hairy legs and armpits (just to change things up a bit). But hell, if I wanted to discharge some protozoans into a pasty, idealistic young hippy chick with hairy legs, I would simply enroll in an economics course over at California State University at Northridge.

The View from Above