Archive for May, 2012

Big Baby Kenny Ng: New and Improved Website!

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , on May 17, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy is disheartened  to learn that the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng has reappeared on the world wide web, much to the discredit of the university system of California, its tax payers and supporters, and the hardworking and earnest undergraduates who deserve far better in their matriculation. For those of you who haven’t seen the new and improved Big Baby Kenny site with shocking new features, click here to witness the dismal and depressing spectacle.

On another note, perhaps the reappearance of his tawdry site may lead to an overall improvement in its writing, or the continued showcase of his award-winning photographs of impoverished bar girls. We would also like to remind you that the Big Fat Baby is about to embark on his summer sojourn to the land of sex milk and honey. Should an eagle-eyed observer spot the buffoon staggering  from bar to bar in Nana, on Cowboy, or in Patpong, Saphan Loy and others are prepared to dispense not an insignificant amount of the coin of the realm for a candid photo shot of the celebrity blogger where he is most at home:  in a third-world brothel.

The View from Above

The Big Top Disappears and other news

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , on May 15, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Goose Barnacles adhere to a washed up bucket of some sort, in the same way that Ng’s now deleted puppet comments formed accretions of madness and debauchery upon the simple-minded posts that he spent hours crafting.

Here, from the Saphan Loy, we are delighted by the cosmetic improvements over at Professor Ng’s Economics of the Thai Brothel District site.  In one fell swoop, his entire puppet show has been deleted, revealing instead the skeletal Potempkin village of his pointless posts upon which the barnacles of inane gibberish generated by his puppet factory (the voices inside his diseased skull) clung like the poisonous crustaceans that they were. We are delighted to see his site stripped of its obscenity. Perhaps this will free up Ng’s time so as to allow him to stand in front of a classroom again, or adequately prepare for his dry lectures, maybe console some confused female students during office hours, or do what a ranking professor ought to do: namely, write an academic article.

In other news, Teacher Tim the Clown has ended his run over on Stickman Bangkok. Perhaps the Clown in Chief at the TEFL International certificate mill rued his decision. Or maybe he will enlist some newly graduated backpacker cum ESL teacher and have her write some pithy think-pieces on the vagaries of living in the Land of Smile. It is very possible that the PR disaster that TEFL International created is far from reversible at this point. Whatever the case, Saphan Loy is hopeful that Teacher Tim will continue to make his presence felt on YouTube. In fact, our childish fear of clowns aside, we at Saphan Loy (Lek and myself) are happy to make room on this blog should he wish to continue blogging.

Here, Professor Ng advises two students during office hours. They are depicted here helping one another read one of Ng’s required readings.

The View from Above

Bangkok Putty

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 10, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Life of a Lounge Gizzard. Pursuing sappy memories. the most important thing in life.

day 3 — albuquerque

got up around 11 this morning. thick shit in my nose again. I blew it in the shower. all blood and old snot. it must be the dry air and the altitude here. but, hey, they got casinos here. out on indian reservations. with buffets too.

my first stop was mcdonalds for a cup of coffee in a paper cup. they wanted 65 cents more for the larger size, but I figured nah, I don’t want to be bouncing off the walls. plus I saved sixty five cents. sipped my coffee and watched the cars go by. man, this month is going to be good. plan on heading back to take a nap. might get a fish sandwich from the dollar menu.

just woke up from nap. heading to the indian casino to meet shakey quakey and bob n’ kneel. maybe meet a new lounge gizzard. some guy named rob or peter. don’t know him, but shakey quakey says he’s okay. if shakey quakey says that, must be he’s ok. might play some penny slots. I found an extra dollar in my pocket when I did my laundry at the laundromat yesterday. it was all crinkled up in my back pocket. jackpot! so we’ll see….

day 4 — albuquerque

woke up at noon. opened the blinds. sunlight on the parking lot. fun times last night. the new lounge gizzard was okay, like shakey quakey said. maybe a name? I’ll call him sister mary fuckface.

might go to i-hop for some pancakes. with maple syrup and whipped cream. two dollars and seventy six cents. can’t beat that with a stick. might splurge for a glass of orange juice. maybe next time. plan for today to take the bus downtown. walk around. sit on a bench in the sun. take a drink from the drinking fountain. maybe check out the five and dime. ogle the mexican girls in the plaza. heheheh.

albuquerque is a lot like bangkok. just drier and a bit ritzier. no plans for the afternoon. might go back for a nap. maybe meet roy rubbers for a bowl of chicken noodle soup at a diner. roy rubbers is a lounge legend. been here in the southwest for about ten years. divorced, like me. he showed me around his neighborhood downtown. invited me into the saloon, but I said I’d take a rain check, but he could call me next time he was going to the taco place with the eighty five cent burritos. got back on the bus. went home. took my blue jeans off and got under the covers and went nighty-night.

day 5 — albuquerque

my new pager started to buzz at 10:30. rubbed my eyes. decided to play star wars. checked my pager. it was dingleberry don. he wanted to pick me up and take me to a barbecue. had to go to the pay phone on the corner. fifty cents later, I dialed  his number. told him I was tired. needed a nap after lunch. planning on a plate of baked beans and a cup of coffee. a glass of ice water. should cost no more than two dollars and thirty four cents. with tax. played star wars. got to the highest level. I’m bushed big time. nap time.

woke up around 3:30 sweating bullets. toilet run. must have been the beans. the landlady knocks on the door while I’m on the pot. I tell her I’ll come downstairs later to talk about the lightbulb in the front room. ok, she says. cleaned up the explosion in the bathroom.

wow. talk about a blast of the nasties. I soaked the whole floor with a brown liquid the color of beef bourguignon. never eating there again, though the beans were pretty good. thought my stomach was used to it after living in thailand. guess  not. maybe it was the ice.

day 6 – albuquerque

woke up at 9:30. whoa. too early for me. took one of those pills I brought back from pattaya. drank some black coffee that i brewed in a sauce pan. couldn’t fall back asleep. played donkey kong. making some happy memories now. bored of donkey kong.

went to the payphone and called leather stephen. asked him what he was doing. nothing, he said. asked  him if he wanted to rent a movie or something. nah, he said. he was going to take a shower, then take a nap, then meet his new friend korean kenny for lunch. he said he was going to practice his typing, too. I said, me too. but I was pretty restless. I knew I had a nap coming, but I wanted to maybe take a walk. maybe get some air. then update my blog.

I didn’t get to any of it. instead, I jerked off like there was no tomorrow while flipping through the bra and panties pages of the wal-mart circular that came with the sunday newspaper. I used a kleenex to wipe off the ropy wad from my belly. then, I had a long nap.

happy memories.

The View from Above