Bangkok Buddy and the Sex Doll

Recently, Lek and I had the grave misfortune of clicking over to the Bangkok Buddy’s last will and testament blog. If we weren’t depressed before offending our eyes with this obvious evidence of a sex tourist who could use a long “rest” in a carefully monitored environment where he might receive the round-the-clock attention of a team of seasoned medical professionals, we were certainly much more miserable thereafter. Lek tends to have a knee-jerk reaction of sympathy for older men who are suffering the private shame and horrors of their self-imposed (or financially-imposed) asceticism, and we think that this played a role in crushing her spirits for the remainder of the day, which meant no glazing of the Thai doughnut for me today. Thanks, Buddy.

At any rate, for those of you who tolerate the Bangkok Buddy’s dismal chronicle of what it would be like to be impoverished, hungry, always looking, never touching, and living in the land of sex milk and no money no honey, you may have inadvertently stumbled upon this gem recently. In this post, aptly titled “toilet run news”, Bangkok Buddy and his band of penny-pinching poopy-makers debate the investment value and the pros and cons of purchasing a sex doll. Poor Lek. She was at a complete loss, so we tried to cobble together a Thai translation: ตุ๊กตาเซ็กซ์, which of course generated even more confusion.

Asians tend to be oddly accepting of the idea of having sex with inanimate objects.

Asians tend to be oddly accepting of the idea of having sex with inanimate objects.

And then it struck me. Bangkok Buddy and his perverse platoon of mongoloids are literally living in an environment where the economies of desire strongly suggest that a sex doll, say one of those fancy Japanese models that usually go for a pretty penny, is not cheaper than a live Isaan farm girl. It seems surprising that Bangkok Buddy’s penny-pinching ways have not taught him how to pick up a live Thai farm girl for a song, and keep her on retainer as a, heaven forbid, “girlfriend”, with vague and exaggerated promises of some future payoff from an imaginary (but certainly dwindling) bank account.

But we suppose that our advice, plus fifty cents, would get you a cup of coffee.

Thai Bar Girls are a Dime a Dozen

Thai Bar Girls are a Dime a Dozen

If he is serious about the sex doll, perhaps Bangkok Buddy should peruse the offerings at Orient Industry here, and carefully select one to his perverted specifications. However, these may be well out of his price range. For the cash-strapped, we recommend the nice blonde doll shown below. She seems like a good sport, a cheap date, and perhaps a heavy drinker, all rolled into one hot latex sex machine. 

You come here often?

You come here often?

Hell, if even this one would stretch Bangkok Buddy’s paltry budget, perhaps he should go one step further, and simply use a disposable latex glove.

The View from Above


8 Responses to “Bangkok Buddy and the Sex Doll”

  1. First time here and what a great read! U hit the nail on the head describing BB and his penny pinching habits…..who the F*** chases down free buffets?

    And making a story about eating breakfast @ the APEX hotel? What a shit hole, does anyone in the world really need to eat that much food??

  2. Marty Funkhauser Says:

    Another home run. Can’t stop laughing.

    Bangkok Buddy sees red, but he should be honored to be in your cross hairs.

  3. Ngii Ngaow Says:

    Very well written and apt description of BB and his penny pinching antics. Unfortunately, after finally meeting him I can’t pull myself away from his site, as I hope he will eventually post that he’s entered into an actual relationship instead of ogling from afar. For a time, there was hope with the “Dairy Queen” and the “Lady Puu”, but it was not to be. My god, I must get myself a life as well!

  4. Jerry seems to fixate what he calls nuerotics…..anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism, schizoid isolation, socio-culturally inappropriate behaviors, etc

    Sounds likes Bangkok Putty to me…….

  5. الخنزيرلكادحالة الرجلصينيأستاذ ذو Says:

    Had a look on his blog, after reading about him here. What a weird guy, his blogs that
    I read are my idea of hell. Why would anyone want to exist like that? Strange little man.

  6. Ngii Ngaow Says:

    As an avid reader of Saphan Loy, I believe your readers would thoroughly enjoy your take on BB’s latest pet project involving a ‘bug out bag’ and ‘all-purpose survival suit’, which I understand are his attempts to prepare for the upcoming armageddon.

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