Saphan Loy’s Year End Roundup and Shameful Holiday Greetings!

Time to stuff some stockings.

Christmastime in the red light districts of Bangkok is a special time. The booze flows freely, the ladyboys prance about in a state of magical, yaa baa-induced wonder like sugarplum fairies, and the Stickman takes a moment to reflect on all of the beautiful Thai courtesans whom he assiduously refused to have sex with in 2013. The “naughty webmaster” for “naughty boys” will likely be rewarded for his efforts with big black lumps of coal in a torn fishnet stocking hanging glumly from his limp mosquito net.

Even my special assistant, Lek, is unusually festive as she busies herself around the Saphan Loy executive suite picking up empty beer bottles and scrubbing the stains out of the faux leather divan where, in between long periods of writing and drinking, I have expended considerable fluids in sating the out-of-control, simian-like libido of a brown-skinned idolater. By the way, she despised part one of the Saphan Loy’s Thai Ladies for Dummies™ guide, mainly because she, like all Thais, does not like to have our “dirty laundry” aired in a public forum. Nonetheless, for her insolence, she will be amply rewarded in the new year.

Yes, gentle readers, it’s that time of year again. Time to take stock of what has been an utterly sordid and shameful year in the red-light districts of Bangkok, and for the bloggers who have attempted to type a word or two about their equally unsavoury experiences. 2013 also marked the dramatic disappearance of some from the game, as well the dogged persistence of the few who remain, banging the tired gong of their own misguided takes on why Cambodia and the Philippines are starting to look better and better.

The Departed

BigBabyKenny.com is defunct.

The biggest departure of 2013 was the abandonment of the now defunct BigBabyKenny.com. Not with a bang, but a whimper. The bloated sex professor most likely abandoned his blog in part because of a new and punitive teaching schedule which has kept him from a dubious hobby that once saw him board a Boeing 757 bound for sex paradise every summer, just as soon as the last of his retarded undergraduate students left his office after complaining about their depressed grades and threatening to have their mothers call him directly. Mercifully, he has even stopped authoring the ridiculous comments in which Professor Ng shares everything from references to pedophilia, racial remarks on the US presidency, and homophobic slurs aimed at Thailand’s transgendered community.

The second departure this past year has been the disappearance of Bangkok Buddy, a gentle soul who only sought out “happy memories” among the cheapest brothels, free buffets, and dive bars of Bangkok. In return, his cadre of Chinese friends, who bizarrely call themselves “The Bay Area Boyz”, turned on him and drove him off the Internet. The story behind his disappearance is complicated, and we have written about the sordid details previously. The lesson in the Bangkok Buddy (and his “Bay Area Boyfriends”) story is that you should carefully evaluate your “friends” in Thailand. Are they mentally ill? Is this mental instability the result of too many drugs, or a strange Syphillitic condition brought on by overexposure to tropical venereal diseases? You must choose wisely.

The “Bay Area Boyz” of Bangkok celebrating Christmas. Photo courtesy of Chris Madeira.

Still Plugging Along: The Museum Sites

The Stickman of Bangkok continues his efforts at creating the seamless infomercial for all things commercial sex in Southeast Asia, including his oft-featured ladyboy escort sites which he plugs repeatedly. Knowing how much of a prude the Stick is, we wonder if 2014 will be the year he allows one to plug him as well. Now that would be worth a read.

While 2013 saw very little variation in his advertisement blog, he nonetheless did add a widely criticized “Girl of the Week” section, in which he features the homeliest of Thailand’s bar girls who offer a stark reminder that it is better to depart well before the cock crows if one is to preserve the hazy alcoholic image of your bar-fined assignation from the night before.

One of the main weaknesses of this feature is that it throws unflattering light on the girls in question and by extension on the entire bar culture in Bangkok. Without beer goggles, the plain Janes, or plain “Leks” of the chrome pole seem wan and distant and somewhat malnourished. They appear almost as lifeless and uninteresting as a horrid Chris Coles painting. We at Saphan Loy have decided that the Stickman is no longer as relevant as he was, say, in 2002. Therefore, he joins the ranks of Saphan Loy’s “Museum Sites.” These are sites that have not changed their general appearance (think primary colours, slapdash HTML, and banner ads), content, or their format since their ill-advised conceptions. They shrink from technical innovation and change, and are stuck in time, like a Polaroid picture of a bar-girl staining the sheets of some short-time hotel in Pattaya.

Bangkok Eyes: Midnight Hour

Our friend Will Morledge over at Bangkok Eyes is still at it. Although Saphan Loy has teased him in the past, we have to admit that his site has become more interesting as he has started to publish more historical information and archival photographs. Have a look at his December column for some visually satisfying images from the former Mississippi Queen bar in Patpong. In the ever-changing field of Bangkok red-light blogs and websites, Morledge’s persistent longevity is really quite admirable and worth a look every month.

Joy from the Mississippi Queen Bar, circa 1970s. See Bangkokeyes.com.

Red-Light Bloggers Still Pounding Away

Mobi d’Ark. Our friend Mobi is also, bless his soul, still having a seat in front of his keyboard and sharing his thoughts and impressions of the world of a Pattaya expat. He is also making available his literary efforts online, and should you be interested in Thailand-based fiction, have a look at his offerings. Mobi, who has endured various hardships this past year, remains a stalwart of the Thai blogging scene. We hope he keeps at it.

Finally, for those of you who miss the Big Mango Bar blog, rest assured that you can still get your fix over at Mango Unchained, a continuation of sorts of the old blog, only a bit more subdued and with a great improvement in the quality of the writing. Graham, who moderates the blog, does an excellent job selecting stories and keeping things moving along.

The premise behind the blog is that these are stories that feature things to do away from the neon glare of the bars themselves, and focus more on expat life in the company of your special Thai lady friends. These are often interesting vignettes into the strange habits and ways of the Thai lady, and how they behave outside of captivity. However, you will still find a story or two about an amusing pub crawl. Well worth a look in 2014.

The Year Ahead

Speaking of special Thai lady friends, look for more of Saphan Loy’s words of wisdom on the treatment of our executive assistant, Lek. As ever, we will task her with various degrading assignments throughout Bangkok, ferreting out information for use in this column. She is quite the สายลับ and she knows the backstreets of our mean city like the back of her graceful, elongated hands.

So, as long as you are sober or sane enough to type a URL into your browser, or remember to make Saphan Loy your main source of information on all things Thai red-light blogs, we will endeavour to type up this column for your edification. Lek and I wish you and yours a very Happy Christmas and New Year, and may all of your red-light district experiences be sordid and disgraceful! Who knows? Perhaps we will meet somewhere on Patpong and I will happily autograph your Thai bargirl’s small, boy-like breasts (with No. 2 pencil eraser nipples) with my felt-tip pen. For a nominal fee, of course.

With that, we leave you with Saphan Loy’s Girl of the New Year! Enjoy!

Saphan Loy’s Girl of the New Year:

The Lovely Kim XXX or Manga

Kim XXX, or Manga, Thai-German Porn Star

Name: Kim XXX, or Manga

Official Website 

Age: 26

Nationality: German

Languages: German and Thai

Special Skills: Engaging in depraved group sex scenes with German men,

consuming the semen of multiple donors, Thai cooking, reading “ka-toon”

Kim XXX, or Manga, is an amazing actress, and a real Thai sweetheart. She is a Thai sex machine who speaks German. What more could one ask for? Her performance range is unlike anything you will likely see in your alcoholically foreshortened lifetimes. She is petite, hard-bodied, and pumped up with enough silicone to firestop a skyscraper. Her twisted German overlords feature her on a site called German Goo Girls (I’ll leave it to you to do your own research), where they make her the degraded object of their Teutonic perversions. Happy New Year, Manga!

The View from Above

“Bay Area Boys” and the Life of Gay Frivolity of the Chinese Expats

As promised, and after careful research about the American West Coast “boys” who are all Asian and have decided to grace Thailand with their munificent presence, here goes. Although to be fair, Lek is pulling on my pant leg insisting that I don’t go through with it.

After questioning multiple sources and discovering the true modus operandi of a small group of Asian Americans of Chinese origins who have menaced Caucasian bar owners and others in Bangkok, it reveals yet another bizarre chapter in the ways in which expatriates in Thailand, surrounded by the plenitudes that Thailand has to offer, insist on going after each other like catty schoolgirls. Perhaps this is the direct result of the effects that the promiscuous expense of semen has on the brain? It also reveals the lengths to which a small cadre of Chinese miscreants will go to pursue those who simply want to enjoy the pleasures of the Orient and who prefer to keep to themselves.

That said, the cast of characters is as stated above, Chinese. Now, Saphan Loy has written extensively about the role the Chinese play in Thailand, and have historically played in the vice rackets. But this small cadre of characters, described in detail by Jerry Bingsell Ching (the former Bangkok Buddy), used to “hang” together, play together, “ogle” together, and stiff bar owners together by pigging out on “all you can eat buffets.”  We know that this was a pattern that was well-established, and that Jerry described in great and yawn-inducing detail.

Steven Frank?

One momentous day, one of Jerry’s bisexual friends, Chris Madeira, made a pass at him by rubbing his thigh at the Thermae. Jerry used his little blog to accuse Chris of all sorts of things, including stalking him, being addicted to ya baa, and being mentally unstable. That, in turn, brought out another one of the members of the cadre, “John Brown” who Big Baby Kenny outed as Steve Frank of Hawaii and Phuket. Frank’s modus operandi was to deluge various blogs with invective hurled at Kenny’s arch nemesis, the Big Mango. Then, a funny thing happened. Big Baby Kenny actually outed Frank within the comments section of his now defunct blog.

While Saphan Loy usually does not care a whit about things of this nature and is unlikely to report out on this issue any further, the following threat from one of the Chinese San Francisco triad prompted me to get more “hands on” in this unpleasantness. The sad part of all of this is that it once again shows how foreigners in Thailand are like groups of bitter old women who try to take each other down over the most meaningless of issues. Here is the comment in question:

Before you trash talk and take pot shots like a “Dastard Sniper” its wise to know your victims and be better informed about their sexuality etc. The Bay Area Boys are anything but homosexual – perhaps Lek serviced most of them before getting on your limp dick. You seem to constantly mention the Homophobia that circumvents Thermae Bar – have you not come out of the closet yet? Thermae Bar is a coffee-shop – Bar that attracts a large Japanese following where freelance Thai girls work without obligation to the establishment. The Bay Area boys have the means to bring you into the legal arena and sue the arse of you or close down your trashy blog. You wouldn’t want to run into the young Madeira boy anytime soon either.

In this comment, which discloses both a legal threat and a threat of violence, Dr. Phil seems fixated on accusations of homosexuality, the nature of the clientele at the Thermae, and whether or not I have a “limp dick.” I am of the impression that only a homosexual would be likely to make inquiries as to the nature of my genitals, and, well, Lek agrees with this, given her familiarity with the Asian kathoeys that are found throughout the kingdom. Bless her heart.

Addressing his legal concerns, I would invite him to first direct all further legal inquiries to the “Bay Area House Boy” who exposed Chris Madeira in the first place: Jerry “Bangkok Buddy” Ching. I would also direct him to the other source of the leaked identity of one of the San Francisco blue boys, Steve Frank: BigBabyKenny.com.

Speaking of the Big Blathering Baby, I recently dug up a putative photograph of his relatives. I share it here because it shows a very nice, if gravely disappointed Chinese couple.

Proud parents.

To Dr. Phil, and the rest of the San Francisco triad, you can put that in your opium pipes and smoke it!

The View from Above

“Bay Area Boyz” in Bangkok: Chinese Americans and their Various Perversions

Working on a very good story about a group of Americans from, surprise, California who are all Asian Americans and who like to assault Caucasian bar owners in Bangkok with their vindictive and bizarre accusations. They are all from San Francisco (why is the Thermae gay scene so surprising, given this context?) We are working on the details. Lek is intrigued when I tell her that Asian men from  San Francisco are most likely of the kathoey variety…she says “leave them alone.” Stay posted.

Bangkok Buddy Returns….Sort of.

Bangkok Buddy, who disappeared from the Thailand brothel blogging world after accusing his yaa baa-addicted friend Chris Madeira of rubbing his groin at Bangkok’s notorious Thermae after-hours freelancer club, has returned!

Well, sort of.

While his new incarnation is called a “Photo a Day from somewhere in Bangkok”, he has used this space to post old photographs of very young Asian women and, in a bizarre turn, little children. Meanwhile, his thoughts, feelings, and daily musings remain private for a select handful of likely dwindling friends.

Alas, Saphan Loy is not one to judge, and Lek believes that the pictures, especially of the women who are at least child-bearing age, are possibly meant to persuade his former readers that he may have been (back in the 1980s and 1990s) a devout heterosexual. Whatever the case, it’s clear that Bangkok Buddy is reevaluating his life by way of these oddly selected photos of young Asian women and children, and that the whole lover’s quarrel with Madeira really has upset his emotional equilibrium. We wish him a speedy return to sanity!

The View from Above

Bangkok Buddy Down for the Count?

Well, it looks like that gentle, penny-pinching recluse of Bangkok has decided to put away the keyboard, vowing to post exclusively for the handful of remaining friends who have been invited to follow his (un) adventures. Shortly before quarantining his blog from the general public, Bangkok Buddy reported that he was being harassed, stalked, and threatened by his former “friend” Chris Madeira. He even posted a photograph of him and claimed he was addicted to drugs, among other things. One thing is for certain: in the Land of Vertical Smiles it pays to be wary of the company you keep in some of the most notorious red light districts in the world. That said, we wish Bangkok Buddy well and raise a lukewarm Singha to his “happy memories” in greener pastures. Or even nastier dive bars. He will be missed.

 

The View from Above

Bangkok Buddy Update

Bangkok Buddy has returned to the airwaves. Apparently, he decided to privatize his blog, the result of which was that his “fans” or “friends” had to send an email to request access. Since this process didn’t work out as planned (his friends claimed they were unable to access the private blog, probably because of poor computer skills), his traffic dropped precipitously. No wonder. At any rate, the Scrounge Lizard is trying it again. Mosey on over for your dose of the shits, showers, and shaves. He has recently written that if he continues to receive grief or abuse from strangers, he will go back to private, with a scattering of “fans” and friends and dwindling hit counts. Our advice to him: get over it. You should feel somewhat honored that people actually care enough to toss around a few harmless comments.

The View from Above

Bangkok Buddy Bugs Out

Bangkok Buddy, Supreme Leader of the Lounge Lizards, aka Jerry Bingsell Chin, has disappeared from the internet. In one fell swoop, his entire site is missing, and even his archives are inaccessible. For those of us following his monotonous life, it’s useful to recall that at one point, the Lounge Lizard was preparing a “bug out bag” for some event or escape he had been meticulously planning. This was basically a survival kit that he had been adding to over time. Has the Bangkok Buddy escaped into the jungles of Thailand? Was he deported? Has he run out of money and returned to his native San Francisco? In a recent post on Pattaya Pal, whom many consider to be the same person as Bangkok Buddy, the author hints at personal troubles, then informs the reader that he is leaving the country (it seems that this is a rather sudden and undesired departure.)

Has Bangkok Buddy Bugged Out?

If anyone has information on this strange turn of events, feel free to share. Lek and I are somewhat desperate for our daily dose of shit, shower, and shave.

The View from Above

Bangkok Buddy and the Sex Doll

Recently, Lek and I had the grave misfortune of clicking over to the Bangkok Buddy’s last will and testament blog. If we weren’t depressed before offending our eyes with this obvious evidence of a sex tourist who could use a long “rest” in a carefully monitored environment where he might receive the round-the-clock attention of a team of seasoned medical professionals, we were certainly much more miserable thereafter. Lek tends to have a knee-jerk reaction of sympathy for older men who are suffering the private shame and horrors of their self-imposed (or financially-imposed) asceticism, and we think that this played a role in crushing her spirits for the remainder of the day, which meant no glazing of the Thai doughnut for me today. Thanks, Buddy.

At any rate, for those of you who tolerate the Bangkok Buddy’s dismal chronicle of what it would be like to be impoverished, hungry, always looking, never touching, and living in the land of sex milk and no money no honey, you may have inadvertently stumbled upon this gem recently. In this post, aptly titled “toilet run news”, Bangkok Buddy and his band of penny-pinching poopy-makers debate the investment value and the pros and cons of purchasing a sex doll. Poor Lek. She was at a complete loss, so we tried to cobble together a Thai translation: ตุ๊กตาเซ็กซ์, which of course generated even more confusion.

Asians tend to be oddly accepting of the idea of having sex with inanimate objects.

And then it struck me. Bangkok Buddy and his perverse platoon of mongoloids are literally living in an environment where the economies of desire strongly suggest that a sex doll, say one of those fancy Japanese models that usually go for a pretty penny, is not cheaper than a live Isaan farm girl. It seems surprising that Bangkok Buddy’s penny-pinching ways have not taught him how to pick up a live Thai farm girl for a song, and keep her on retainer as a, heaven forbid, “girlfriend”, with vague and exaggerated promises of some future payoff from an imaginary (but certainly dwindling) bank account.

But we suppose that our advice, plus fifty cents, would get you a cup of coffee.

Thai Bar Girls are a Dime a Dozen

If he is serious about the sex doll, perhaps Bangkok Buddy should peruse the offerings at Orient Industry here, and carefully select one to his perverted specifications. However, these may be well out of his price range. For the cash-strapped, we recommend the nice blonde doll shown below. She seems like a good sport, a cheap date, and perhaps a heavy drinker, all rolled into one hot latex sex machine. 

You come here often?

Hell, if even this one would stretch Bangkok Buddy’s paltry budget, perhaps he should go one step further, and simply use a disposable latex glove.

The View from Above

2012 Stumbles to an Ignominius End

….and 2013 looks no better for the motley group of fools who continue with their dubious output of words and poorly framed photographs depicting the brothel districts of Thailand, from the disgraced professors and teachers (Big Baby Kenny Ng and Stickman), to the humdrum typists of pulp e-books which nobody purchases (Stephen Blather et. al.), to the marginally retarded (Bangkok Buddy and Kent Hammond). Normally, Saphan Loy would conduct a “blow-by-blow” analysis of the year in review, but sadly, it seems that the whole year was a washout for the barflies of Bangkok.

The holiday season in Thailand’s red light districts is a grim reminder that there are many lost souls from around the world who continue to gravitate to these places, washed up has-beens, lovelorn, hopeless, and thirsty, compelled by the biological imperatives of their unmanageable vices, motivated by the squalid reward of a short-time hotel room, a cheap sex enhancement drug, and a Thai rice farmer’s daughter or two. Or a Thai rice farmer’s son in drag who happens to possess an artificially added set of double DDs and a chemically induced uncircumcised hard-on, or a surgically altered vaginal skin-fold.

It is a time when our favourite bar girls, mamasans, and bartenders are trotted out in the cheapest of Christmas-themed lingerie and paraded around sticky barroom floors in darkened corners of cheap, third-world gin mills, enticed by a few hundred baht and the false promise of an improvement in their stations in life.

It is the time of year to drown regrets in rice whiskey, or the local non-potable lager, and to stifle the merest threat of an emerging sense of conscience, any images of domesticity that we left behind elsewhere in the developed world where we once may have had friends and family, or even the thought, “What the hell am I doing here?”

It is also the time of the year when we can imagine, although remotely and through the artifice of fiction, a character much like George Bailey, driven to despair by financial catastrophe in the timeless American classic It’s a Wonderful Life, who attempts suicide only to be shown a life without his presence in the world, followed by a dramatic, heart-warming redemption.

We can picture, for example, Professor Big Baby Kenny Ng, clinically depressed by the mistakes of his life, his failures as an economist/school teacher, his morbid obesity, his disgraceful and very public fall from grace, and his grotesque appetite for young Thai bargirls, contemplating suicide on a barstool somewhere in Saphan Khwai (yes, he has sunk this low), while drunkenly crying in his cups and muttering dark curses at his imagined enemies and the success of others. Yes, we can see him, his ego stung by the utterance of a snaggle-toothed ladyboy who has just called him a khii mao, in this Saphan Khwai hellhole, his life story spooling away from him like the sad and sordid conclusion to an old 16 mm stag film he vaguely remembers from his misspent youth witnessing the fabled Tijuana donkey show flickering on a yellowing wall in his dorm room.

And we can hope, as we watch him in this Saphan Khwai watering hole, trying to find an outlet for his laptop and arguing with the mamasan in a language he does not understand, that Ng will come to meet an angel who will put his arm around his shoulder and say, “But you have had a wonderful life, Professor Ng.” And when this dreary holiday fable comes to its conclusion in the darkened karaoke parlor, and those grim concluding words appear, “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends”, we will all sigh deeply, because, well, we know how Ng has mistreated his friends and alienated his colleagues irreparably.

My lovely assistant Lek is in tears, daubing at her almond eyes with a Kleenex, the poor thing. Ok, enough of your blubbering. Get me a drink. And put on that skimpy Father Christmas costume I purchased for you.

Similarly, we can wish at this time of year that the celebrated scribe of the red light districts, the Stickman, is visited by a Dickensian scene, the bar girl of Christmas past, who appears to him in his Bangkok high-rise bound in the chains of oppression that he has caused by stimulating a prurient interest in all things related to sex commerce. Awakened at midnight by the apparition, the Stick cowers under his mosquito net, while the bar girl of Christmas past says, “You handsome man no good man. You bad man.“

Stickman is awakened at midnight by the bar girl of Christmas past.

The Stick mistakenly believes he is dreaming, and responds, “Is that Bernard Trink?”, then swallows another tranquilizer. His slumber thus returned, he is awakened soon thereafter by the bargirl of Christmas present, who shows him the horrid reality of plane-loads of elderly westerners arriving in Bangkok, all streaming into the big yellow vagina of Nana Plaza, depositing their baht along with their diseased chromosomal material, and leaving empty beer bottles and broken lives of the impoverished girls who remain behind staring hopefully at the dim glow emanating from their cellphones.

And finally, what of the bar girl of Christmas future? What tidings does she bring? Or he? And whither the red light districts in Thailand in 2013? Only the new year will tell. Lek has visited the witch doctor and received bad tidings. But I am optimistic. And rest assured gentle reader. In an ever more hostile cyber world, Saphan Loy will continue to be a “troll-free zone” and will remain a place where intelligent, adult discussion of all things Thai brothel districts is welcome, where sexpats and sex tourists can tune in for the latest deep analysis of the red light blogosphere and the bizarre bedfellows who populate it.

Therefore, may you and your bar girls or ladyboys (or donkeys) enjoy the best of the holiday season, and with hope look forward to another year of unabashed whoring and drinking and drugging all the while avoiding liver failure or cardiac arrest. And may all of your wishes at the Hindu shrines of Bangkok bring you the loves of your life, prosperity, and just enough success to continue your binges without guilt, shame, or remorse of any kind.

Happy New Year!

Yours truly, and my lovely assistant Lek.

The View from Above

Bangkok Putty

Life of a Lounge Gizzard. Pursuing sappy memories. the most important thing in life.

day 3 — albuquerque

got up around 11 this morning. thick shit in my nose again. I blew it in the shower. all blood and old snot. it must be the dry air and the altitude here. but, hey, they got casinos here. out on indian reservations. with buffets too.

my first stop was mcdonalds for a cup of coffee in a paper cup. they wanted 65 cents more for the larger size, but I figured nah, I don’t want to be bouncing off the walls. plus I saved sixty five cents. sipped my coffee and watched the cars go by. man, this month is going to be good. plan on heading back to take a nap. might get a fish sandwich from the dollar menu.

just woke up from nap. heading to the indian casino to meet shakey quakey and bob n’ kneel. maybe meet a new lounge gizzard. some guy named rob or peter. don’t know him, but shakey quakey says he’s okay. if shakey quakey says that, must be he’s ok. might play some penny slots. I found an extra dollar in my pocket when I did my laundry at the laundromat yesterday. it was all crinkled up in my back pocket. jackpot! so we’ll see….

day 4 — albuquerque

woke up at noon. opened the blinds. sunlight on the parking lot. fun times last night. the new lounge gizzard was okay, like shakey quakey said. maybe a name? I’ll call him sister mary fuckface.

might go to i-hop for some pancakes. with maple syrup and whipped cream. two dollars and seventy six cents. can’t beat that with a stick. might splurge for a glass of orange juice. maybe next time. plan for today to take the bus downtown. walk around. sit on a bench in the sun. take a drink from the drinking fountain. maybe check out the five and dime. ogle the mexican girls in the plaza. heheheh.

albuquerque is a lot like bangkok. just drier and a bit ritzier. no plans for the afternoon. might go back for a nap. maybe meet roy rubbers for a bowl of chicken noodle soup at a diner. roy rubbers is a lounge legend. been here in the southwest for about ten years. divorced, like me. he showed me around his neighborhood downtown. invited me into the saloon, but I said I’d take a rain check, but he could call me next time he was going to the taco place with the eighty five cent burritos. got back on the bus. went home. took my blue jeans off and got under the covers and went nighty-night.

day 5 — albuquerque

my new pager started to buzz at 10:30. rubbed my eyes. decided to play star wars. checked my pager. it was dingleberry don. he wanted to pick me up and take me to a barbecue. had to go to the pay phone on the corner. fifty cents later, I dialed  his number. told him I was tired. needed a nap after lunch. planning on a plate of baked beans and a cup of coffee. a glass of ice water. should cost no more than two dollars and thirty four cents. with tax. played star wars. got to the highest level. I’m bushed big time. nap time.

woke up around 3:30 sweating bullets. toilet run. must have been the beans. the landlady knocks on the door while I’m on the pot. I tell her I’ll come downstairs later to talk about the lightbulb in the front room. ok, she says. cleaned up the explosion in the bathroom.

wow. talk about a blast of the nasties. I soaked the whole floor with a brown liquid the color of beef bourguignon. never eating there again, though the beans were pretty good. thought my stomach was used to it after living in thailand. guess  not. maybe it was the ice.

day 6 – albuquerque

woke up at 9:30. whoa. too early for me. took one of those pills I brought back from pattaya. drank some black coffee that i brewed in a sauce pan. couldn’t fall back asleep. played donkey kong. making some happy memories now. bored of donkey kong.

went to the payphone and called leather stephen. asked him what he was doing. nothing, he said. asked  him if he wanted to rent a movie or something. nah, he said. he was going to take a shower, then take a nap, then meet his new friend korean kenny for lunch. he said he was going to practice his typing, too. I said, me too. but I was pretty restless. I knew I had a nap coming, but I wanted to maybe take a walk. maybe get some air. then update my blog.

I didn’t get to any of it. instead, I jerked off like there was no tomorrow while flipping through the bra and panties pages of the wal-mart circular that came with the sunday newspaper. I used a kleenex to wipe off the ropy wad from my belly. then, I had a long nap.

happy memories.

The View from Above