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Saphan Loy Hunts for the Girl of the Week

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 13, 2013 by สะพานลอย

After an overwhelming response from my readers on how to spice up Saphan Loy, we have decided to add a new feature to the blog called “Girl of the Week.” In this segment my assistant Lek and I will spend an inordinate amount of time looking for that special combination of looks, personality, and absence of sexually transmitted diseases that really gets our motor running. If ya know what we mean.

Our search took us to the most unlikely of places, through the narrow sois and alleys of our fabled city of angels. We peered into every nook and cranny, under every rock, and in every empty toilet stall we could find at the bus station. It also helped that we had some nifty GPS coordinates (courtesy of that helped us when we were traveling farther afield into the rice padis and jungle outposts of Thailand.

Without further ado, let’s look at the girls that made the cut this week.

’Why the long face, love?

There was something about the way this peach was sitting here all by herself at 10:30 AM, just chilling with a few cold bottles of Bia Chang. Nothing says “come hither” like a cold one first thing in the morning. And her yellow football jersey, gray shorts, and furry brown bracelet really got my old ticker pounding in a way that I couldn’t easily blame on the Kamagra I was chewing all morning for breakfast. She seemed a bit shy when I snapped her pic, but that’s what we especially love about these Thai lovelies. They are demure, modest, and, more importantly, minx-like between the sheets. Not that I would know since Saphan Loy readers know that I don’t partake as I limit myself to masturbating about the ladyboys in Nana Plaza. Another positive about this one was her total lack of tramp stamps. What’s not to love?
Rubber Necking

Next, we made our way to a little place I have known about for a while. I won’t give it away here, as I like to keep my little honey spots all to my self. It’s not much of a bar. More like a little hut on stilts where the beer is lukewarm, and the stuff that is burning in the little pipe on hand is awfully suspicious. That’s not to say I didn’t try some. Lek was encouraged as well, but hell, she’ll put anything between her lips. And who are we to be such terrible guests? Not much is recalled from this visit. But after a hazy afternoon of beer drinking and pipe smoking, those beautiful brass rings around this little piece of long-necked candy started to wobble and shimmy in the hot sun, luring me to her body like a giraffe in heat.

Okay. Next up on our list of Thai hot-spots: Pattaya. We don’t normally get down to the shore very much, but when we do, all bets are off. It’s usually me and Lek and a bottle of whiskey or two. Sometimes Lek even picks out the lovelies for us. How do you say “ménage à trois” in Thai? Anyway, I wouldn’t really know as I don’t partake.

Now, normally, the farang women in Thailand don’t do anything for us. It’s not that I have completely gone native. It’s difficult to find a nice farang in this country. But just as I was about to give up in Pattaya while working on this assignment, there she was. Like a dream come true. A true paradigm of womanly beauty and virtue. I started scratching my head and wondering what had taken me thousands of kilometers from my home country, and why I gave up the birds like this that I sadly left behind. I don’t know if it was too much drink in me, or the Kamagra talking, but I just needed to get her picture. I even got a wink while I was at it.

Dream Machine

True, this one had a tramp stamp. But she almost made it as Saphan Loy’s girl of the week.

So this final one really took the cake. I found her in a Bangkok go-go bar, though it’s not really a go-go bar per se.  A mate of mine owns the place, though there’s no signage, no music, and it’s kind of a sleazy dump. It’s basically one room in an old shop-house and it’s not located anywhere near a tourist destination. It used to be a sewing machine repair shop. Basically, he has a few girls there who are not allowed to leave the premises under threats of physical violence and psychological coercion. My mate told me these girls will go with anyone for the price of a bottle of Singha. I got there just around midnight, and I said, “Okay, who do you want me to do?”

And his eyes lit up and he said, “you mean…?”

Then I said, “Don’t be such a silly boy. So silly. Why are you such a big silly man? Silly brute. I don’t partake! I meant whose picture do you want me to take?” Then I swatted at his big burly shoulder, the way a girl might.

He said, “That’s what I thought. Right, mate. I forgot. ‘You don’t partake.’ Okay, okay. Whatever.”

I spied this little fox all alone in the corner. There she was, the poor thing. But she had that Thai thing going on that really made my night. Cute face, no tramp stamps, shy smile. The perfect combination. At first I thought she was applying makeup, but it was really dark in there. And since I didn’t want to bother her, I shot her from a distance, the way a creepy guy with a zoom lens is apt to do.

Here she is, folks. Saphan Loy’s “Girl of the Week!”

Thanks for all the great suggestions for starting this new segment of the Saphan Loy blog. As long as there are batteries in my digital camera, I’ll keep working at it.

The View from Above

California State University at Northridge and the Limits of Freedom of Speech

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , on March 9, 2013 by สะพานลอย

The media attention around CSUN’s most notorious professor of economics has largely faded over the years, but Professor Kenneth Ng has continued his malevolent work on his personal website, formerly dedicated to his enthusiasm for prostitution in Thailand. Recently, his imagined nemesis, The Big Mango Bar in Bangkok, has announced it will close its doors. It, like all bars in the red light districts of Thailand, was here today, gone tomorrow.  

Perhaps now the vitriol that Professor Ng directed at his enemies (either real or imagined) may possibly be better converted to a return to academic productivity, although this is unlikely given the depths of depravity that Ng continues to exhibit.

Instead, Professor Ng continues to use his blog as a way to test his employer’s (the taxpayer-supported state university system of California) tolerance for free speech. Those bounds are routinely tested by his decision to post comments that are pedophilic, racist, and often very violent. Generally, Professor Ng writes the “comments” himself (his site includes thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of such comments). Or, he relinquishes moderation control entirely and lets his co-author Kent Hammond come up with these gems himself. Hammond and Ng then assign these comments to their imagined enemies in what could only be described as a complete dereliction of online civility. One wonders what his colleagues think of this technique? Do they fear that they too will one day find themselves on the losing end of Ng’s irrational libel campaign? Is this why his superiors never forced him to take this site off the Internet?

Below we have taken the opportunity to share with you exactly what is happening on the good professor’s blog, and wonder how a university student (or faculty member) could feel comfortable in his classroom, or in his presence generally. His is a corrupt and disfigured mind, and the biggest casualty in his bizarre crusade is the academic community at CSUN.

The following “comments” may be found at Accessed on March 8, 2013.

In this comment Ng condones extreme pedophilia:

Here, Ng advocates the use of weapons in the killing of a perceived enemy:


Ng fictionally ascribes this comment to another “perceived” enemy. It is notable for its extreme racism that Ng seems to feel is within the bounds of free speech.


Here, Ng writes about violent homosexual rape, betraying his homophobia and his intolerance of sexual difference.


The real tragedy of Ng’s abortion of a website is that the environment that he creates in his warped and twisted little universe has an unfortunate effect on his classroom.

Were I a parent in California, and my daughter or homosexual black child were required to take his course, I would feel as though the state university system owed us, at the very minimum, a place free from this kind of instructor, his poisonous bigotry, and his lascivious “hobbies”.

The View from Above

Co-Author of Big Baby Kenny Ng Blog Revealed

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Just as Big Baby Kenny Ng has relied on co-authors to help him write his academic papers for him, so too has he needed similar assistance on his website, It turns out he has relied heavily on a serial commentator named “Ronru”, who turns out to be his partner in crime as well as a sex tourist from Melbourne, Australia named Kent Hammond.

Together they have attacked business owners and writers with a daily barrage of lies, insinuations, libel, and general invective that have made the Big Baby Kenny Ng site what it really is: a place for dangerous sex tourists who care only about maliciously destroying other people’s lives and livelihoods. Hammond has spent the greater part of the past two years attempting to silence any and all credible criticisms of Professor Ng’s nefarious online crusade. He has also joined Professor Ng in impugning the integrity of Saphan Loy, much to Lek’s great consternation.

In his dating profile on, Hammond writes of himself:

I’m young at heart, fit and active. I’m interested in people and there feelings, consequently long walks at dusk discussing philosophic possibilities, stimulate my sensitive and creative nature. I love adventure and travel extensively seeking new experiences and participating in Life. Sport has always been part of my life, and I appretiate fine dinning, wine and fun company. I would like to meet some nice lady between the age of 30 and 40 who is slim, active and with a possitive open mind.

Riddled with spelling errors and poor grammar, it matches verbatim the kind of writing that Professor Ng has asked him to do on the Big Baby Kenny blog. In short, “Ronru” has been responsible for nearly all comments appearing on a daily, sometimes hourly basis on the BigBabyKenny website, most of which have attacked business owners in Bangkok as well as bloggers in the online expat community. One of Ronru’s specialties has been to make use of other people’s names to misrepresent themselves, incriminate themselves, or otherwise trick the search engines into indexing associations that are baseless and libelous.

Now that this dubious co-author of the Professor Big Baby Kenny Ng blog has been revealed, and with photographs of the two co-authors hamming it up in Thailand together (see Big Dummy Kenny), the mystery surrounding the commander of the “sock-puppet” army has been solved. Sadly for Hammond, whose friendship with an incompetent buffoon masquerading as a teacher has obviously unraveled, that association will likely cause much distress with little promise of reward in future.

But what is most revealing about the introduction of co-writer Kent Hammond is the way it actually happened. While Big Dummy Kenny actually blocked out Kent’s image in the photograph on the Big Dummy Site, the big reveal actually came out on Big Baby Kenny Ng’s site in, you guessed it, the comments section. Ng essentially outed his one and only friend and co-author (or at the very least allowed it to happen by his laissez-faire approach to moderation). For the record, Ng has used this method before and to great effect. He has published the actual names of the former Werewolf and Young Penfold with the same callous disregard for Internet civility that he has displayed for the past four years.

A Forum Strikes Back

If you read our last post closely, you may have noticed that Lek and I are of the similar opinion that discussion fora focused on Thai prostitution and sex work have become irrelevant holdovers to Web 1.0, and have served only to shelter older sex tourists who have nowhere else to go to share their depraved scribblings.

Predictably, one such forum, Thai360, which promises a “360” view of the Thai ladyboy and brothel scene, has felt slighted, and a dubious new thread was started by “Ratchada” for the sole purpose of attacking Saphan Loy. Lek was outraged, and I was a little more than exasperated trying to translate the word “douchebag” into Thai so that Lek could apprehend the gravity of Ratchada’s impressive display of vulgarity. In his rather pointed criticism, which begins with two references to anal stimulation, of Saphan Loy, he writes:

Talk about specific…this douchebag seems to have a serious stick up his butt regarding all nightlife-focused websites and pussy forums on Thailand…as far as I can tell, his blog pretty much exists just to criticize them….??

I love how, although he’s full of criticism for Stickman (uh, yeah, not exactly the hardest target!), he uses the same very-difficult-to-read light text on black background that Stickman does, haha… 

Ratchada's Douche Bag

While one of his forum “buddies” gently attempts to disabuse Ratchada of the notion that Thai nightlife websites are somehow automatically immune from criticism, another anonymous forum-lurker named “Wendella” wonders whether the author of Saphan Loy “…is well.” This coming from a regular contributor to a site called “International Sex Guide” (among others.) While we appreciate Wendella’s concerns for our mental health, we can say unequivocally that with Lek’s constant ministrations, consisting of regular dosages of Xanax washed down with an ice cold Singha beer, Saphan Loy’s emotional health and general outlook on life is rosy by any measure.

There is some misconception within these so-called discussion fora that, by making use of the illusion of a kind of “gated” community, that their conversations are somehow inured to the influence of greater forces at work in the Web 2.0 environment. This cannot be further from the truth. One of the main reasons we have avoided membership in these Thai-sex focused electronic bulletin boards is a matter of simple security. Maybe for hard-core mongers like Ratchada and Wendella this is isn’t a consideration at all. But I for one would treat any forum with great suspicion, since you are effectively creating a single repository of your data, your IP address, and your long history of commentary on a dubious and illegal enterprise, namely, international sex tourism, and handing that information over to the “key master”.

Image found on Nurse Myra's Gimcrack Hospital Blog

Image found on Nurse Myra’s Gimcrack Hospital Blog

At any rate, all of this talk of douchebags in Thailand has brought up an interesting idea, abetted by an enthusiastic Lek: how about a bar on Cowboy or at Nana that is a douche and enema themed venue? We can call it “Douchebag a Go-Go”. I can picture it now: douchebags everywhere, celebrity sightings like Big Baby Kenny Ng, Dean Barrett, Ratchada and Kent Hammond, and a full write-up on Stickman Weekly. Now that would be sanook mak mak.

The View from Above

Doom and Gloom and the Sex Trade in Thailand

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 17, 2012 by สะพานลอย

With all of the doom and gloom over on Stickman about the current state of the brothel scene in Bangkok, the red-light blogosphere has been dying a painfully slow death as of late. It is natural that sites like his, or Big Fat Baby Kenny’s, will go the way of transistor radios and Spanish Fly love potions. There are two important lessons that the teachers behind both of the aforementioned sites clearly missed: in Stick’s case, he should have cashed out at the top of the market for his services, and in Professor Ham-fist’s case, he should have parlayed his sudden US-media notoriety into his own talk show. Or at the very least started his own pornographic website.

Big Baby Kenny Ng’s ladyboy adventures are now but yesteryear’s wet-dream….

In looking around the blogosophere this week, it has become painfully clear that much of the energy has dissipated both in the well-established sites and in those blogs that soldier on despite an increasingly apparent public apathy toward Asian prostitutes in general. It is as though the brothel districts of Thailand and Southeast Asia are becoming ghost towns, the last refuge of those nostalgic for their heyday circa 1968, supplanted by new forms of economic growth and opportunity. The Internet, mobile devices, i-this and i-that, these are all making the bar areas useful only to the alcoholic, the elderly, the sex-addicted and relief-seeking men whose ageing bodies are deformed by years of abuse but that still respond (miracle of miracles) to aphrodisiacs manufactured in Bombay and all points West.

Lek and I therefore decided to pay a visit to an old site that we occasionally consulted when my testicles required a liberal slathering of baby oil: Sukhumvit Psycho. But when the page loaded, we were told that this site has undergone a radical name-change. The Sukhumvit Psycho is no more, replaced instead by, brace for it, Sukhumvit Entertainment!

I know what you are thinking. It has all of the excitement and originality of the name of a cable television channel. There are so many things silly about this change in nomenclature that it is difficult to know where to begin. But rest assured, for those of you who relied heavily on the testicle massage guide that Sukhumvit Psycho was best known for, the information is still there, but only if you have the time and inclination to click through a dizzying array of links that will point you in all sorts of directions on the site. By the time you find the information you are looking for, you could have picked up the phone in your hotel room and said in simple English, “I’d like a massage. Room 157” to have arrive, moments later, a sheepish Thai woman with a bottle of baby oil.

The site itself looks the same, and still features multiple grammatical errors (given the language challenges of its writer or writers), with most of the potentially useful information effectively gated behind one of those tired “forums” that are also becoming like the dusty relics of Web 1.0 and the mainstay of elderly men who like to create purposefully deranged avatars and rack up trivial submission counts. For many years we have seen these forums dedicated to Thailand prostitution and have avoided them like a venereal disease.

Nonetheless, Lek and I decided to have a gander at the available information on the Psycho’s website, er, sorry, on Sukhumvit Entertainment. It is interesting to observe that the “Premium Membership” option no longer exists. When do we get our refund?! And many of the public pages now resemble the old link farms that sat on the web in the late 1990s like useless handbills. To add insult to injury, the links for Asian Dominas (to satisfy Lek’s curiosity, the naughty tavern wench!) do not even work. Those websites were likely silenced by the long arm of the local Gendarmerie. And while we are on the topic, Saphan Loy is saddened to report that not one of our many international readers even bothered to send us a copy of the Testicle Massage Guide. It is still available for only $14.99. And the holidays are right around the corner. And yes, this is a hint. I suspect that for Christmas this year, Lek is (once again) planning on gifting me a pile of her well-thumbed “ka-toon” books.

And so the search continues. Saphan Loy is like Diogenes of Sinope holding up our lamp in the red-light districts of Asia, looking for an honest man. However, we leave you with this image, courtesy of, which reveals the location of a sordid nightclub somewhere in the dark jungles of Northeastern Thailand. Because, much like this very helpful conveyor of important geographical information (the GPS), we will continue to illumine the digital darkness with a single, and most perfect ray of light.

The View from Above

Deconstructing Big Baby Kenny Ng: A Textual Analysis of the Post Heard Round the World

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 23, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Reprinted at, courtesy of Originally posted to The Farang Speaks Too Much ( circa 2009. Acknowledgments go to for reviving this gem for our edification. Big Baby Kenny’s words are italicized while Saphan Loy’s analysis is not. The following is a critical exegesis of the post that set into motion a chain of events culminating in the public outing of Professor Kenny Ng at the California State University at Northridge. Enjoy.

 Buddha and Babes by BigBabyKenny

Before we analyse the content of the article, a word or two about Big Baby Kenny Ng’s choice of title is in order. Reference is  made to the Phra Tri Murti Shrine (sometimes spelled as Tri Murati) as well as the Erawan shrine located in Bangkok. The shrines referenced here are actually Hindu, so all subsequent references to Buddhism in this article are flatly wrong. The Hindu shrine Phra Trimurti represents the “trinity” (hence “tri”) of divinities in Hinduism, namely Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. The Sanskrit term is  त्रिमूर्तिः trimūrti.

Hinduism, carried and practiced by Indian merchants, mendicants, or learned Brahmans in the early centuries of the Common Era (the exact factors that played into the transportation of Indian culture to Southeast Asia has never been concretely established), was a part of Southeast Asia’s historical contacts with the rituals of Hinduism, and later Buddhism. For this reason, many of the references to the lingam (phallus) and the yoni (vagina) found in Thailand are derived from these early influences. Buddhism and Thai society have tolerated the pre-Buddhist images and rituals from Hinduism, hence the multitude of lingam images in stone and wood carving found on display on the sidewalks of Sukhumvit, and the shrines that Kenny references within this blog post.

Secondly, researching the Hindu significance of the Phra Tri Murti Shrine did not require an enormous amount of effort or energy on Saphan Loy’s (or Lek’s) part, certainly not the kind generally associated with an academic paper. That the professor failed to cross-check a very simple fact, which was facilitated by a major commercial internet search engine, indicates his impoverishment of prose composition skills and research abilities.

 Some posters write semi fictional, self glorifying stories masquerading as the truth featuring themselves as heroes with Brad Pitt’s looks, James Bond’s savoir faire, and porn star cocks who leave every girl breathless, sated, and slavering for more—and expect us to believe what they write is 100% the truth.

Despite many omissions of the hyphen in what are essentially hyphenated adjectives or noun phrases (semi-fictional, self-glorifying, porn-star, savoir-faire) in this paragraph, the intent and meaning seem clear: the author does not believe all written accounts of the Thai red light districts he encounters on the Internet. Given the author’s misrepresentation of the Phra Tri Murti shrine as “Buddhist” in the very title of his post as well as the body, why would one choose to believe his?

Others write self-deprecating but still half fictional stories full of mirth and humor that leave you breathless on the floor laughing.

Generally, this is a poorly constructed sentence, and the use of the word “mirth” is anachronistic. Were the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng to find himself “breathless on the floor”, it would be far likelier that he were suffering a cardiac event precipitated by morbid obesity and poor health, or the strain of especially vigorous masturbatory activity.

And then there are the stream of consciousness, mis-spelled, no paragraph disasters written with a 9th grade vocabulary, featuring 6th grade grammar and sentence structure by barely high school educated, full of themselves, pint sized pizza delivery boys in The World who are legends only in their own minds, posts, comments or when they are strolling Beach Road, Soi 6, and Sukhumvit after 3AM with 500 THB in their pocket.

The word “misspell” does not require a hyphen. By the sixth grade in the United States public education system, a student would likely be able to recognize a run-on sentence. That a university professor fails to recognize the example he has produced here is an especially embarrassing grammatical error, considering that he is trying to point out the grammatical flaws of others. This paragraph would benefit from the insertion of punctuation and far fewer adjectives for clarity and comprehensibility. “And” he begins the entire paragraph with a conjunction.

I like to run down a different path.

Rather than making up some fictional, self glorifying drivel, I try to provide advice and information that properly handled lets you get banged better, cheaper, and more efficiently.

The first sentence here is a confusing metaphor at best. Does he mean to say, “run up a different path?” Or, “take a different approach?” Is he reaching for the phrase, “to take a different tack?”

Saphan Loy believes the declarative sentence, wherein he promises that his writing will allow the unschooled sex tourist to “get banged better, cheaper, and more efficiently”, should stand on its own as a testament to what is precisely wrong with the good economics professor of the California State University at Northridge.

(see How to Meet Normal Thai Girls by Billy Bangkok for an example of someone using the blog this way)

I hope you appreciate the difference.

Everybody would like to leave The Reservation and mix it up with the 99.9% of the Thai women/girls who aren’t doing P4P with farangs.

A few words of explanation for Saphan Loy’s general readership are in order here. Ng is referring to sex tourists who, having grown weary of circulating among the prostitutes on the “Reservation” (generally defined as Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy, and to a lesser extent Patpong 1 and 2 – collectively, the red light districts of Bangkok), “would like to leave” to form relationships with the majority of Thai women and girls who are not prostitutes (“P4P” is the acronym for “Pay for Play” – the act of remunerating women, ladyboys, bar boys, and bargirls in exchange for sex services).

Who hasn’t ridden the BTS, scoped the legion of TG Hotties who don’t know the difference between long time and short time, long balling and short balling, a first and fourth down, are a little fuzzy if you can drive between Washington D.C. and Los Angeles in an afternoon, and wonder what it would be like to have access to the prime chicks who lives their lives off The Reservation?

Notes: BTS is the Bangkok Mass Transit System’s Skytrain, a popular means of mass conveyance that is elevated above the city’s traffic and congestion. “TG” is short for “Thai Girl.” The slang use of the verb “to scope” is normally used with the accompanying word “out”, as in “scope out.” Grammatically, this sentence is difficult to parse because of the confusion of ideas and the colloquial use of terms denoting sexual intercourse and the sex trade in Bangkok. Here, the author is attempting to demonstrate that the girls and women he sees on the Skytrain excite his imagination with the desire to meet a non-prostitute in a setting other than a bar in the red-light district for the purposes of initiating sexual intercourse.

 You can sit on the outdoor patio of The Duke of Wellington when businesses close and like a grizzly bear during the annual salmon run admire the never ending stream of beautiful stunning stylish Silom office girls climbing onto the baht bus for their 1+ hour sweaty no aircon, packed like slaves making the middle passage bus ride to their 3000 THB/ month room with no toilet on the outskirts of Bangkok after grinding out 10 hours a day six days a week for barely enough money to pay rent, eat cheap street food, and the monthly treat of KFC and a movie and wish you had a way to scoop a couple of juicy ones out of the stream just like the grizzly paws out some prime salmon for his daily feast.

The Duke of Wellington Bar in Bangkok is located across from the Patpong red light district and in the United Center Building on 323 Silom Road. The Silom District, in addition to being home to Patpong, is the main business district in Bangkok. Ng here is referring to the “office girls” who work normative office jobs for low wages (relative to what Ng would be willing to pay a woman to copulate with him or perform oral sex on him) and what he construes as an impoverished lifestyle, however virtuous said lifestyle would be in accordance with the young woman’s Buddhist principles. This paragraph is an extraordinarily long example of a run-on sentence (see Ng’s commentary regarding sixth grade grammar and sentence structures above). It would benefit from far fewer adjectives as well as some punctuation. Furthermore, the mixed metaphor Ng attempts to make here is a predatory one: he imagines himself as a Grizzly bear fishing during a salmon run. In the same metaphor, he also equates hard-working young professionals in Bangkok with “slaves”, a loaded term for a culture with a long history of slave ownership and debt bondage. For more on modern sex slavery in Thailand, please see Dean Barrett’s website.

This post provides some help and practical advice about transforming the fantasy into reality.

A healthy rewarding approach to getting along in Thailand is to acknowledge Thailand is a foreign country and culture with its’ own unique rules and customs, expend some resources and mental energy exploring and trying to understand how and why the place works, and then bend and manipulate the local rules and customs to make Thailand cough up and surrender what it has to offer— easily, cheaply, and efficiently.

Extending the predatory metaphor further, here Ng suggests in an oppressive and colonial way that an understanding of Thai culture would go a far way in facilitating his prurient sexual objectives. By learning the “local rules and customs”, Professor Ng believes that he could then “bend and manipulate” them, just as he has done more recently to secure a retirement visa, so that Thailand “coughs up and surrenders” its young women for his sexual gratification. The most egregious grammatical error in this paragraph is the incredible misuse of the apostrophe in the word its. Generally, a sixth grade student would probably recognize this error as well.

The suffering of Christ.

 Thailand doesn’t work the same way as The World. That is what makes it so much fun and once you learn the ropes it can be really really really amazing how easy it is to get things that, in The World, are out of reach for most of us or where the cost/benefit analysis just makes it too damn much trouble.

Here is an example.

In Christianity it isn’t kosher to pray to Jesus for money, fame, or getting laid frequently and well by multiple young beautiful girls. That’s not the way Christianity works.

“The World” presumably refers to the western world (the United States, Canada, and Europe.) In Christianity, it is appropriate to pray to Jesus Christ for forgiveness of one’s sins, and the salvation of one’s soul (and the souls of all sinners) in the hereafter, and not for the material benefits of the here and now. The suffering of Christ is a major trope in Christianity, and its similarity to the Lord Buddha’s teachings on the subject does not end here.

 Buddhism, the dominant religion in Thailand and large swaths of Asia, is different. Not only is it perfectly OK, to pray to be rich, famous, and handsome, to live in a big house full of fawning servants, married to a young super hottie, with a couple of even younger hotter hotties stashed as mia nois in Silom and Ekkamai luxury condos, with a garage full of Bentleys, Ferraris, and a Maybach, and to be young, healthy, and handsome to boot but if you don’t ask Buddha your fellow Buddhists will consider you a bit eccentric.

Theravada Buddhism, the type found throughout Southeast Asia, is quite different from the Mahayana traditions of Northeast Asia. However, the type that is practiced in Thailand (Theravada) with its traditions of compulsory monkhood, does not condone the accrual of material wealth for its own sake. Rather, this form of Buddhism preaches moderation, the “middle way” that the Buddha advocated, between pure asceticism and self-indulgent pleasure seeking. Unlike Christianity, however, Buddhism does not necessarily require anyone to behave any certain way dogmatically, or follow any moral precepts whatsoever, since the individual soul has many chances to improve future life cycles. Clearly, however, Thai Buddhism does teach pure living, non-violence, generosity of spirit, moderation in deeds and thoughts, fearlessness, non-grasping, and, well, pretty much all of the positive characteristics that one sees embodied among the population in workaday Thailand. Acts performed in this life, such as self-indulgent pleasure seeking or criminal behavior, will be rewarded or punished in the next one in accordance with one’s karma (กรรม).

The Buddhist priesthood is set up to profit from such requests—acting as sort of a middleman between you and Buddha, and, of course, like all religions collecting a fee for the service. We’ve all read about amulet mania—where Thais bid up the price of certain amulets made of dried mud to diamond like levels. Where do you think all that money ends up?—in the hands of the monks who craft them. More commonly, when a Buddhist wants something they go to the appropriate temple or shrine, make an offering, i.e. give the monks some cash, submit their request, and wait for results.

The Buddhist priesthood is not “set up” to profit from its communities. As was demonstrated during the time of the Protestant Reformation in Europe, powerful religious structures with their own hierarchies are often subject to this specious claim, which is often based on a superstitious trepidation of authority figures, or a pronounced political agenda that seeks to shift religiously ordered power away from a central authority. In Thailand, the temple serves as an important moral center of the community, and the abbot and his monks and servants, out of an abundance of compassion, seek to assuage the concerns and anxieties of their congregants, not to run the temple like a corporate profit center. For an example of a highly profitable religious enterprise in the United States, see Mormonism as a case in point. The absurdity of Professor Ng’s claims here is really beyond the pale.

There is even market segmentation and specialization among the monks/temples. Some temples are general purpose wats where you can ask for anything, e.g. Erewon. Others are known to be extra powerful for certain classes of requests—sort of like visiting Lourdes and drinking the holy water if you are Christian and sick.

The professor here has misspelled another Hindu shrine in Bangkok, and not a Buddhist temple. It is called Erawan, and it represents Brahma, the all-powerful deity of Hinduism. The shrine was built in 1956 at the behest of astrologers in consultation with the Hyatt Corporation, and is located near the Grand Hyatt Erawan Hotel. (See remarks about the Phra Tri Murti shrine above.)

 So if you are a young suphaak and nareek Thai girl/women stuck in an out of the way office with no chance to advertise her wares, with a worthless no money, girl abusing, no appreciation Thai mini-boyfriend or no boyfriend or decent prospects at all, who sees all the beautiful clothing that she will never wear in her rented copies of foreign fashion mags, reads about the interesting and glamorous lives of rich Thai celebrities, walks through Siam Paragon wearing her cheap Pratunam knock offs and sees the racks of beautiful designer clothing and jewelry expertly and exquisitely crafted to make a girl look stunning and irresistible, who sits on the bus everyday getting raisined by the harsh tropical sun and realizes that in a few short years she will be on closeout sale under the harsh Thai rules of marriage and dating and pine for some action where do you go?

Because the Big Fat Baby Kenny does not understand a word of Thai, and he has no experience rendering the language in standard Romanisation, the Thai words he attempts to phonetically illustrate here are incomprehensible. In professor Ng’s analysis that follows, the majority of Thai women and girls (earlier established by him at 99.9% of the female population) who work an honest living in Bangkok should be rightfully seduced by the lure of money in exchange for sexual intercourse or oral sex with western men the likes of him. Again, the professor would profit from a remedial sixth-grade refresher course in English grammar rules. This run-on sentence reads like the incoherent ramblings of a schizophrenic.

(See Fresh Produce Shopping Part 2B-The World’s Greatest Starbucks and Some Advice About How to Meet and Bang Normal Thai Girls by BigBabyKenny for a discussion of suphaak and nareek and the Thai Girl Hierarchy of Desirability.)

Amazingly enough, the answer is Central World!

Yes–the big shopping mall on the corner of Rama 1 and Rachadamiri across the street from The Big C and SuperRich. The mall with the excellent collection of restaurants on the 6thand 7th floor, a Powerbuy, an Iberry, and two excellent cinemas.

After referring the reader to another advice column on how to extract sexual services from Thai girls and women, the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng reveals the answer to the straw-man of a “problem” that he laboriously established with his misinformed expository paragraphs: a shopping mall.

On the northeast corner are two Buddhist shrines.

Here is a pic of the important one—the Pra Tree Muarati shrine (I am sure this is spelled wrong!).

Notice that the crowd of worshippers is almost exclusively younger Thai women.

Not to belabor the point, but these are not Buddhist shrines. Making an offering to a Hindu shrine is far different from ritual prayer at a Buddhist temple.

That is because the Muarati shrine is known as THE SHRINE to make an offering when you are seeking love or need help with affairs of the heart.

Fact is frequently weirder than fiction and nowhere more than in Amazing Thailand. Is it possible that in a desperately poor country, where the genes, diet, and environment produce a plethora of lean low fat super babes, where said super babes have no opportunities for economic advancement and a decent standard of living except marriage but prevailing social beliefs prevent even the babeiest babe from marrying above her class, where 20% of the native men spend their lives wearing a dress, high heels, mascara and saving their money to have their wieners cut off and the mutilated remains fashioned into a faux vagina, and the rest of the men are mainly a bunch of trike sized no money wife beaters who treat their dogs better than their women, that the shrine where said super hotties get down on their knees and pray the local gods for relief would be located smack in the heart of farangdom—-only 4 BTS stops from The Reservation?

According to Professor Ng’s figures, nearly seven million Thai men have surgically and cosmetically altered their appearances in an effort to enjoy the material rewards of prostitution.

In this extraordinarily long run-on sentence, Professor Ng presents his rationale for stalking women and girls at the shrine who wish to improve their romantic lives. Bizarrely, Ng also believes that 20% of the male population of Thailand, or roughly 6,912,223 out of 69,122,234 people (assuming the nearly constant rate of 1 male for every female throughout age groups – see United States Central Intelligence Agency demographic figures for Thailand) are “ladyboys”, or male to female transgendered persons!

To put this figure in greater perspective, the Thai military is comprised of only 664,560 active and reserve personnel. Furthermore, the largest city in northern Thailand, Chiang Mai, if extended to include its entire metropolitan area, has a population of only one million people.

Amazing Thailand!!!!!!!

I am pretty sure that most of you can figure out what to do from here but I will soldier on.

Right behind the main offering area shown in the pic, Buddha has thoughtfully provided a nice long comfortable marble bench. This bench is the good girl analog to seats right inside the door at G-Spot, the seats at Big Dogs where you can watch the parade of girls entering and exiting Nana Plaza, and the outdoor patios of Cowboy GoGo’s—the ones with the best view of the girl action.

Any time day or night, buy a cold Coke Zero or a six pack from one of the nearby vendors or the Big C, plop down on the bench and check out the hopeful local girls down on their knees desperately praying to Buddha for a better more fulfilling love/sex life.

Most of us have developed pretty good pole reading skills. In a GoGo, most of us can scope the girls, read their physical appearance, demeanor, grooming and dress (if she is wearing any) and make pretty good deductions about the girl-her background, her life, and what it would be like to bang her.

Generally, one exclamation point suffices to make a sentence more exclamatory, not seven. Most American students are taught the rules of punctuation by the third grade. Thailand is amazing, indeed, given the sheer number of transgendered men in the kingdom by Professor Ng’s unfounded estimates. Contrary to Ng’s assertion, the Buddha did not provide a long comfortable bench for petitioners to the Phra Trimurti shrine: the designers of Central World did. In the first paragraph, Ng compares sitting near the shrine and ogling the “good girls” to sitting inside a girlie bar called “G-Spot”, or the outdoor seating near Nana Plaza or on Soi Cowboy (two notorious red light districts in Bangkok).

Without much mental effort, I can take a quick look at gogo girls on the pole and construct an almost always 90% accurate personal history/profile of any girl—which ones are struggling, which are prospering, which have babies, which are on Yabaa, which prefer Japanese guys, how long they have been in the bar, whether they have a Thai boyfriend, how hard they will bargain, whether they are into long time or are looking for a quickie in the short time room, and, most importantly, what type of ride they are going to give you in the bedroom. I don’t think I am unique or have any special skill that most experienced farang don’t possess. GoGo Girl reading is a naturally acquired skill for most farang.

Here, Professor Ng boasts that he has spent so much time in Thailand’s go-go bars that he now possesses an uncanny ability to determine demographic, psychological and sociological data for every girl he sees with her legs wrapped around a pole. His detective work must be impressive indeed. He is able to tell which young women have given live births (likely detectable by stretch marks on their skin which a blind man can no doubt observe as well), which prostitutes are addicted to methamphetamines (yaa baa), etc. Perhaps he would do well to learn the Thai language in order to actually query his subjects, a task of the intellect that would be far too demanding of the professor’s less than formidable mental acuity.

You can exercise similar reading skills at the Murati shrine and select the girls which suit your personal preferences. Uni girls, office girls, college educated girls, fresh from the rice paddy girls, teenage girls, bruised up girls mired in abusive relationships—they all come to pray and make offerings at the Muarati shrine and they get off their knees firm in their faith and rock solid in their belief that a few baht, some cheap incense and roses will convince Buddha to twist fate their way and produce a decent boyfriend, a good husband, some sexual adventure, or relief from their loneliness and/or their current shitty Thai man.

In this paragraph, Ng shows that he is able to use his “girl-reading” skills to analyse potential targets of his dubious sexual contrivances. It is here that he advocates that one may exercise personal preferences that potentially include “teen-age girls.” There is no more damning evidence of Ng’s proclivities than what is spelled out here in a long, grammatically tortured paragraph.

Courtesy of

When you see one that strikes your fancy, wait until they have finished praying, follow them a short distance and approach them.

(The other Fresh Produce posts discussed how to present yourself, and what to say when you meet Fresh Produce so I won’t belabor these points here. See the Ramkahaeng andStarbucks Soi Lang Suan posts.)

The simplest thing is to politely ask them if they know where there are any nice places to eat nearby. When they mention a few, act stupid about how to actually find them, and ask them if they would personally show you the way and, offer them some free eats as a token of your gratitude for her help.

The naysayers will say it’s creepy to be hanging around the Muariti Shrine hitting on the emotionally vulnerable girls desperately praying and paying Buddha for a better love life but I beg to differ. Buddha works in mysterious ways.

Although they don’t consciously realize it, the typical farang is exactly what these Thai girls are praying for—a decent guy with some money who takes care of those close to him, who doesn’t look down on them because their parents weren’t born into money and wealth, who doesn’t hold it against them that they don’t have a fancy education, who appreciates and values girls with loving hearts, who take pride in taking care of their man—men who are looking for a fun, loyal, good hearted girl who is also drop dead gorgeous and dynamite in bed.

You want it and they want it—the stars are wonderfully in alignment at the Muarati Shrine!

Again, the premise of targeting women and girls at the Phra Tri Murti shrine is founded on the misconception that it is Buddhist. (See “Buddha works in mysterious ways.”) In this equally damning paragraph, the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng makes a feeble case for enticing women away from the shrine in order to feed them some food at a restaurant somewhere “nearby” and ply them with sexual advances, exploiting their natural aspirations and hopes, not for an overweight, aging professor with a laundry list of perverted sex needs and fetishes, but for a more secure future in which she might more sustainably participate in material and/or romantic rewards of a quickly globalizing world.

I am not a Buddhist but when you learn about the Muarati Shrine, where it is located, and what it is purportedly good for, it is hard not to believe that Buddha put the shrine close to The Reservation for a reason and I personally am happy giving Buddha helping hand.

And there is no reason you shouldn’t also.


In short, Professor Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng is the answer to the prayers of Thai girls and women not only at this particular shrine, but throughout the Kingdom of Thailand. Because of his faith in the mysterious powers of Hindu shrines in allowing him to sexually victimize their supplicants, naturally he should probably consider becoming a “good Buddhist” whose intentions are anything but pure.

The View from Above

Tastes Like Chicken

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy has harped in the past on the gross violations of good faith that the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng has exhibited on his ill-fated website He has eschewed all rational ethics (such as they are) and generally-accepted behavioural norms of self-publishing, and has demonstrated an extraordinarily rudimentary kind of schoolyard monkey-mind in his absurd treatment of other writers and bloggers (Saphan Loy included) that calls into question a few puzzling riddles about the kind of man Kenneth Ng really is. What we can glean from his sex tourism blog is that he is quite seriously mentally ill and certainly sex-addicted, with far-reaching fetishes that most likely include coprophagia, a behaviour he shares with dogs.

Generally speaking, most college professors are borderline deranged anyway, but usually in a harmless or quirky way. Perhaps they like crossword puzzles, for example. Or maybe they collect stamps, tea cozies, or antique bottles.  Not Ng. His perversions must certainly poison every classroom he enters, and he likely repels unsuspecting undergraduates with his pornographic avocation worn proudly on his sleeve without shame. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but professors, like any authority figure, should be held accountable to a standard that is elevated. For example, when Jimmy Smithers underwent a colonoscopy recently (see the article and the many interesting comments here), he would not expect that the doctor (were he a male) would be a deranged sex tourist. Indeed, were you or I to find out this information on the operating table, we would likely be dismayed and attempt to halt the procedure by abruptly pulling the IV from our veins and putting on our trousers.

Similarly, were you or I to sit down in a classroom, and the authority figure (the professor) had the reputation of an eager third world prostitute john which preceded him internationally, it would immediately colour our expectations and our feelings of comfort, which may, in turn, compel us to leave (unless of course his course were required). That the California State University of Northridge seems to be heading in the direction of purging their classrooms of deviants is an encouraging sign. In addition, the state’s impoverished university system has far too many other problems to worry about. And when the day comes when Big Baby Kenny Ng is called to the carpet, he will find his worst fears realized: directionless, he will go to Thailand, his head hanging low, where he will be forced to eke out a living there as a teacher in a mediocre university, working like a dog for a pittance of a salary, and having to deal with the indignity of “visa runs” and empty bank accounts for the rest of his natural days.

Which brings us to Ng’s latest salvo in a long campaign of misinformation: the origins of Saphan Loy. We (Lek and I) will not address Big Baby Kenny Ng’s retarded speculations regarding the ownership structure of Saphan Loy. We trust that our readers are capable of informed critical analysis and educated opinion, unlike the fat man’s bogus readership of the criminally insane.

In other news from the blogosphere, there are rumours circulating that Big Baby Kenny is now in Bangkok (see here and here), and it is our hope that he enjoys his sex holiday. After a whole semester spent looking at his unattainable and tantalizing coeds in his unendurable lectures, he needs one of two things: a cold shower or a trip to Bangkok. Teacher Tim Torkildson the Clown has returned to Stickman after a very brief hiatus. He wrote a piece last week that announced his return, and the take-down notice was removed by TEFL International. Due to the highly volatile discussions around his contract with TEFL International and the tense negotiations around his salary, it is nice to see that the details have been ironed out and we can once again enjoy Tim the Clown’s quirky take on life in a Thai classroom, and his musings on having romantic liaisons with Thai women.

On a much more serious note, Mobi over at is having open-heart surgery in Bangkok early next week. We at Saphan Loy wish him the best and a speedy recovery, and look forward to his return. I have to admit that having open-heart surgery in Thailand (or anywhere for that matter) is a courageous act of healthcare, which requires a lot of support and well-wishes. Take a moment to drop him a line.

Finally, in Stickman’s latest and greatest (a boring description of Siam Square), one of his deranged readers submitted a letter that is even more insulting than the feces that emanates from Big Baby Kenny Ng’s keyboard. In essence, the letter (reproduced below) is a horribly disrespectful analogy between fast food and Thai bar girls. It reveals a sickened mind and a non-existent moral conscience. By reproducing it here, it is Saphan Loy’s hope that it will draw appropriate levels of outrage. Who is so callous as to compare a young woman to fried chicken? I put this question to my office assistant, Lek, and she replied with a colourful expression of her own, a derogatory term that combines the words “farang” and bird-shit. In short, we were both stunned by this abortion of a letter penned by some Pattaya vagrant who prefers shirts without sleeves, his beer in tin cans, and his “fried chicken” in plastic buckets. A word of advice for this highly-evolved specimen of humanity: in future restrict the audience of your tortured similes to yourself, your psychotherapist, or your local clergyman only.

Reprinted in its entirety here:

Visiting Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy compared to visiting McDonalds, you have a hunger, you go there for convenience, it’s gaudy, bright and trashy inside, you see what you think you want, you order it and take it away, but when you get outside you realise that what you really have is a bag in your hand that’s full of shit, you know it’s wrong and that you shouldn’t, but you have it anyway.  Temporarily you feel satisfied, you walk away leaving your trash behind!  Comparing the pay for play experience to KFC, nothing at all intellectual about the experience, once you’re done with the breast and thigh all that you’re left with is a useless greasy box to put your bone in!

As ever, we suppose it is of no surprise that there are those who think like this miscreant and who frequent Big Baby Kenny Ng’s site regularly. That Stickman, however, published this “gem” speaks to his complicity in the degradation of prostitutes (who should nonetheless be afforded some dignity and the most basic of human respect) in his adopted city. In our minds, what is far worse than the typing of this atrocity is the publishing it for the general public.

The View from Above

Resurrection of the Fat Man: Big Baby Kenny Ng

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , on March 9, 2012 by สะพานลอย

He has been resurrected. Thankfully, all of our favourite images are still there as well. His extraordinarily perceptive photographic skills, his keen eye for the salient details of the Thailand “dating scene” as he calls it, and his highly detailed and piercing ethnographic descriptions of the brothel districts of Thailand, have all been restored to their former glory.

Professor Sexpatriate clearly has a compulsive need to continue his sorry puppet show. Saphan Loy will keep you abreast of the situation, as always.

The View from Above

Requiem for the Fat Man

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , on February 29, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Not with a bang but a whimper. — T.S. Eliot

The Big Baby Kenny Ng has been knocked off the airwaves, and we are hopeful that the cause was his own guilty conscience.  He should find solace in the fact that he joins a long list of personalities who for a brief moment illuminated the world with their insights into the brothel districts of Thailand by lighting a candle rather than curse the darkness:

  • Bernard Trink
  • Dean Barrett
  • Werewolf
  • Baron Bonk

Murati Shrine, Courtesy of


Sadly for the students and taxpayers of Califronia, as well as the citizens of the Kingdom of Thailand, the BBK disaster has returned to the airwaves. It is likely that the Fat Man tripped over the webserver power cord, or spilled some beer all over a particularly important piece of system hardware, or hit the wrong key on his keyboard with his Mongoloidal ham-fists. Saphan Loy will endeavor to keep you informed should anything even more egregious result from that depraved part of the United States.

The View from Above

Bye Bi Kenny: The End of An Affair

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 2, 2011 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy has decided that ultimately the BBK website is over and we will no longer expend efforts in attempting to uphold anything that resembles a vigilant critique of that site. The specious content posted there is no longer “about Thailand”. The fat man has sung, so to speak. As the self-authored commentary spools out like the tail-end of a bad 16 mm pornographic film projected onto the wall in some squalid suburban basement in California, flapping wildly against the reel of the projector, so too has it become all the more clearer that that site is done.

Stick a fork in it.

While we have not posted a comment there in months, not only does the site continue to violate US copyright protections by reproducing Saphan Loy’s protected intellectual property, but its flagrant violation of other federal privacy protections, Thai domestic laws governing indecency and pornography, as well as his thinly-veiled attacks on the royalty all constitute an extraordinary break with reason and with good conscience. Plus, it is all presented in the singular voice of a cornered man, someone for whom the bounds of common public discourse no longer hold much meaning. In his desperation to prove a point to his academic community, the students and the tax-payers of California, he has revealed that he will stop at nothing, including publishing photographs of “license plates” of innocent people he suspects of “being John Galt.” If this does not sound alarm bells among the mental health professionals in California, I suppose nothing will.

Saphan Loy believes that part of the end (at least for this reader) was the result of a closer inspection of the so-called “photography” of the site. His ladyboy feature on the “Slut of Shanghai” shows one photograph (the crotch shot) where the viewer not only sees that the ladyboy is wearing some kind of support garment to conceal his testicles, but that also there is a poor Thai father holding a small child in the background witnessing the spectacle. That an American professor thinks nothing of this kind of display of rural poverty and degradation, and feels free enough to publish such unspeakable indecency, speaks volumes to the kind of person behind the BBK site.

When BBK was outed by the mainstream media one year ago in the United States, he had the wonderful opportunity to simply say “no comment”, to remove the offensive material from public consumption, and to dedicate the past year to repairing his reputation and smoothing the ruffled feathers of his colleagues. Instead, he submitted to interviews and wrote poorly-crafted “defenses” of something that is really indefensible. His ego, blinded by the glare of the media lights and the vague promise of potential Internet stardom, for such a brief moment was nourished in a way that his spotty academic record could never do (along with the wet dreams of Nobel-worthy economic theories). That he chose to do this is a sad testament to one man’s damaged capacity for reasonable, rational (self-interested) behaviour.

We wish him (and the cast of characters he created to advance his racist, sexist, and psychologically wounded rhetoric) all the luck in the world.

The View from Above

Big Bisexual Kenny Outs Garden Variety, Half-Baked California Motorist

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2011 by สะพานลอย

How utterly embarrassing. Were Saphan Loy a university professor making such an egregious mistake, we would stick our head in the sand until the next tenure review and hope for the best. For those who are completely ignorant of who John Galt is, let Saphan Loy enlighten you. John Galt is a literary reference to a character in Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged whose dubious brand of “objectivism” clearly still appeals to Californians who are under the influence of medical marijuana. That Big Bisexual Kenny did not know this before now is a sure sign of an intellect the consistency of cookie crumbs.

These bumper stickers have appeared on countless faded sedans and ganja-reeking jalopies driven by crispy critters and fruitcakes of all shapes and sizes, bearded or otherwise, across the left-leaning states of the Republic. Unfortunately, this poor old hippie now has BBK to thank for having his or her license plate number zapped across the Internet for all and sundry to see.  Aren’t there federal laws against this? Scratching head…..

Saphan Loy plans to make sizeable donations to the Ayn Rand Institute in Irvine, California, in the professor’s name. We encourage you to do the same.

 The View from Above