Archive for Stickman Bangkok

Saphan Loy’s Account of the Thai Military Occupation

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2014 by สะพานลอย

Well, first some sour news for those of you wondering where we have been. Longtime readers will recall our former friend, Jimmy Smithers, who has had his fair share of problems, medical, psychological, and moral. For the longest time, he had lost touch with us, following his own downward spiral living alone in the United States, alcoholic, sexless. About eight months ago, he managed somehow (with the assistance of a minor windfall that allowed him to purchase an airline ticket) to travel back to Thailand. Occasionally, he would drunkenly call the Saphan Loy hotline, insult Lek with some choice vulgarities he had been cultivating in his imbecilic brain, and not be heard from again for weeks, sometimes months.

Let’s skip ahead to this coup d’état, which has made Thailand about as attractive of a tourist destination as North Korea in midwinter. Recently, Lek and I received a strange and garbled telephone call from the Thai-Cambodian border crossing at Poipet. And yes, it involves Jimmy Smithers, that fat fuck. The Thai military had detained him after an incident at some derelict bar on the Thai side. According to the authorities, he had been drinking for four straight days and was under the influence of a powerful barbiturate that Cambodians reserve for controlling its genetically inferior livestock.

Poipet border crossing

Poipet border crossing

What happened at the bar is unclear, and we can only surmise at this point. However, we had our lawyer (one of Lek’s family “friends”) contact the military commander in charge of Sa Kaeo province to see if this could be sorted out amicably for poor old Smithers.

Now, let me warn readers in all due seriousness. Saphan Loy is not going to sugarcoat the whole military situation the way StickmanBangkok so blithely has.

The coup d’état is real. And they mean business.

The military commanders reported that sometime around 3:00 AM on the previous Tuesday morning, Smithers launched into a political tirade, incomprehensible to most, made several rude gestures with parts of his anatomy, attempted to hoist his fat arse onto the bar itself which then precipitated a rapid structural degradation of the bar-top collapsing it like dry bamboo under his weight, which, in turn, compromised the walls of the flimsy structure that had been built to accommodate the fly-by-night watering hole. He had said some pretty offensive things, the poor old bugger. Were I there to counsel him, I would have pounced on his grotesque body and forcefully clamped his mouth shut.

The military immediately detained him and we haven’t heard from him since.

Now, all things considered, life for farang is pretty much normal in this period of dark political uncertainty, particularly in Bangkok. We can still come and go as we please as long as we observe a curfew and do not stir up the shit-pot. And yes, the bars are still open, though largely empty and depressing. However, I know I am speaking for a large contingent of resident expats (including the Bay Area Boyfriends) when I say that it could be worse.

We should all thank our lucky stars that we have not been rounded up at gunpoint and sent by railway out into the countryside to begin a “reeducated” life of collective rice farming on sprawling communes owned and operated by InTouch Holdings PLC (formerly Shin Corp) of which the largest shareholder is Singapore’s Temasak Holdings through a subsidiary called Aspen Holdings Ltd at 41.62% of the company. I ain’t gonna work on Yingluck’s farm no more!

Curfews and fear have put a major damper on my wandering of the red light districts of Bangkok. So what’s a serious hedonist to do in the city during difficult political times? Well, for one, stock up. And I don’t mean on Sri Racha sauce and pla duk. I mean on bar girls.

What started as a nuisance has become something much worse. And Lek is none too pleased. Here’s the thing. When you have one mia luang, and you want to bring mia noi into the flat, you will encounter, how do I say it with sensitivity, challenges.

My impulse was almost charitable. Lek has known about Tuy for the better part of the year and has been very tolerant of our harmless crush. Tuy hails from the metropolis of Lopburi, and she is a tad darker (maybe two tones) than Lek, and younger with beautiful long black hair, a stunning smile, and piercing eyes. I suggested to her that, because of the well-known wild monkeys in her home town, perhaps she is part sex monkey herself.

Lek's new "friend", Tuy

Lek’s new “friend”, Tuy

At any rate, Tuy was caught out by the coup. She did not have the cash-flow to go all the way back to Lopburi, and she certainly didn’t want to stay in a crowded little place with several other catty farm girls who menstruate at the same time, so I invited her to stay with us until this all blows over.

Lek, as you may suspect, was furious. But since I am the man of the house, I insisted. I warned Lek that at a time of military occupation of the country, she should listen to my commands if she knows what would be best for her long-term peace and stability. In parallel to the new military order, I have become emboldened to act like General MacArthur in my own home, in complete command of two Thai bar girls. Yes, it is a challenge. But like MacArthur, my resolve is like newly forged steel.

So there it is folks. As I write this, Tuy is watching something mindless on the television (more of the same, Thai military processions and poorly-composed patriotic anthems) while picking her nose. Lek is in our bedroom taking a nap. And to be perfectly honest, I am enjoying every minute of this military “interlude”. It’s about time we had some structure and order around here.

The View from Above

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Saphan Loy to Purchase Stickman Bangkok

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , on April 1, 2014 by สะพานลอย

After several tense rounds of negotiations with the Stickman over several rounds of bia sot (the Stick mostly drank Coca Colas and fiddled with his expensive camera) at an unnamed bar in Patpong, the Stick and I have come to a monumental agreement that will change the equation in reportage on the brothel districts of Thailand. Upon the Stick’s retirement, Saphan Loy will take over the Stickman Bangkok site and will be responsible for the Stickman Weekly segment as well as advertisement transactions that are a cornerstone of the site. Financial terms will not be disclosed, but both parties agree that the deal makes sense financially and from an editorial perspective.

“It’s been a good run, but I’m sure Saphan Loy and Lek will be able to carry on the tradition for me. While the Bangkok nightlife scene is decaying, I feel my services would be more welcome in Phnom Penh,” the Stickman commented as he hinted at the possibility of a Stickman Cambodia site in the works.

As the Stick looks toward greener passages, Saphan Loy looks forward to taking the helm at the vaunted Stickman Bangkok franchise. Yes, the Go-go scene is hitting rock bottom, yes, the lookers are few and far between while the dregs continue to unconvincingly lure “handsome man” to shady and corrupt nightclubs, but Lek and I feel that our reviews of bars, “naughty” places, watering holes, bdsm and blowjob clubs, and the sex practices of sex tourists will be a welcome respite to the horribly slanted and jaded Stickman Weekly, which, in reflection of the general decline of the scene in general, has declined in readership appreciably.

Saphan Loy will continue the Girl of the Week Feature

Saphan Loy will continue the Girl of the Week Feature

Our first priority will be to revive the sagging number of hits that Stickman Weekly generates. It is way off its all-time high achieved at the time of the John Galt debacle. Unlike the content of the site now, we will also be introducing a video segment that will share erotic clips of readers with their lovely Thai rental ladies. We believe that this feature alone will double the currently dwindling readership.

In addition to our new roles, which Lek and I are preparing for with great excitement, we will be converting the Stickman site into a subscription-based service with added features for Gold Plan and Platinum Plan members. Details forthcoming. In addition, we plan to rehire Teacher Tim the Clown at double the salary his English language school paid him for his witty observations. Negotiations are also in process with a guest columnist whose name will surprise and delight red light readers everywhere.

Lek and I wish to assure longtime Stickman fans that the Stickman brand will continue to flourish, even as the nightlife itself becomes more and more moribund and depressing. After all, Saphan Loy thrives in these conditions, and moreso when the cards are stacked against him.

 

The View from Above

 

Saphan Loy’s Year End Roundup and Shameful Holiday Greetings!

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2013 by สะพานลอย
Time to stuff some stockings.

Time to stuff some stockings.

Christmastime in the red light districts of Bangkok is a special time. The booze flows freely, the ladyboys prance about in a state of magical, yaa baa-induced wonder like sugarplum fairies, and the Stickman takes a moment to reflect on all of the beautiful Thai courtesans whom he assiduously refused to have sex with in 2013. The “naughty webmaster” for “naughty boys” will likely be rewarded for his efforts with big black lumps of coal in a torn fishnet stocking hanging glumly from his limp mosquito net.

Even my special assistant, Lek, is unusually festive as she busies herself around the Saphan Loy executive suite picking up empty beer bottles and scrubbing the stains out of the faux leather divan where, in between long periods of writing and drinking, I have expended considerable fluids in sating the out-of-control, simian-like libido of a brown-skinned idolater. By the way, she despised part one of the Saphan Loy’s Thai Ladies for Dummies™ guide, mainly because she, like all Thais, does not like to have our “dirty laundry” aired in a public forum. Nonetheless, for her insolence, she will be amply rewarded in the new year.

Yes, gentle readers, it’s that time of year again. Time to take stock of what has been an utterly sordid and shameful year in the red-light districts of Bangkok, and for the bloggers who have attempted to type a word or two about their equally unsavoury experiences. 2013 also marked the dramatic disappearance of some from the game, as well the dogged persistence of the few who remain, banging the tired gong of their own misguided takes on why Cambodia and the Philippines are starting to look better and better.

The Departed

BigBabyKenny.com is defunct.

BigBabyKenny.com is defunct.

The biggest departure of 2013 was the abandonment of the now defunct BigBabyKenny.com. Not with a bang, but a whimper. The bloated sex professor most likely abandoned his blog in part because of a new and punitive teaching schedule which has kept him from a dubious hobby that once saw him board a Boeing 757 bound for sex paradise every summer, just as soon as the last of his retarded undergraduate students left his office after complaining about their depressed grades and threatening to have their mothers call him directly. Mercifully, he has even stopped authoring the ridiculous comments in which Professor Ng shares everything from references to pedophilia, racial remarks on the US presidency, and homophobic slurs aimed at Thailand’s transgendered community.

The second departure this past year has been the disappearance of Bangkok Buddy, a gentle soul who only sought out “happy memories” among the cheapest brothels, free buffets, and dive bars of Bangkok. In return, his cadre of Chinese friends, who bizarrely call themselves “The Bay Area Boyz”, turned on him and drove him off the Internet. The story behind his disappearance is complicated, and we have written about the sordid details previously. The lesson in the Bangkok Buddy (and his “Bay Area Boyfriends”) story is that you should carefully evaluate your “friends” in Thailand. Are they mentally ill? Is this mental instability the result of too many drugs, or a strange Syphillitic condition brought on by overexposure to tropical venereal diseases? You must choose wisely.

The "Bay Area Boyz" of Bangkok celebrating Christmas.

The “Bay Area Boyz” of Bangkok celebrating Christmas. Photo courtesy of Chris Madeira.

Still Plugging Along: The Museum Sites

The Stickman of Bangkok continues his efforts at creating the seamless infomercial for all things commercial sex in Southeast Asia, including his oft-featured ladyboy escort sites which he plugs repeatedly. Knowing how much of a prude the Stick is, we wonder if 2014 will be the year he allows one to plug him as well. Now that would be worth a read.

While 2013 saw very little variation in his advertisement blog, he nonetheless did add a widely criticized “Girl of the Week” section, in which he features the homeliest of Thailand’s bar girls who offer a stark reminder that it is better to depart well before the cock crows if one is to preserve the hazy alcoholic image of your bar-fined assignation from the night before.

One of the main weaknesses of this feature is that it throws unflattering light on the girls in question and by extension on the entire bar culture in Bangkok. Without beer goggles, the plain Janes, or plain “Leks” of the chrome pole seem wan and distant and somewhat malnourished. They appear almost as lifeless and uninteresting as a horrid Chris Coles painting. We at Saphan Loy have decided that the Stickman is no longer as relevant as he was, say, in 2002. Therefore, he joins the ranks of Saphan Loy’s “Museum Sites.” These are sites that have not changed their general appearance (think primary colours, slapdash HTML, and banner ads), content, or their format since their ill-advised conceptions. They shrink from technical innovation and change, and are stuck in time, like a Polaroid picture of a bar-girl staining the sheets of some short-time hotel in Pattaya.

Bangkok Eyes: Midnight Hour

Our friend Will Morledge over at Bangkok Eyes is still at it. Although Saphan Loy has teased him in the past, we have to admit that his site has become more interesting as he has started to publish more historical information and archival photographs. Have a look at his December column for some visually satisfying images from the former Mississippi Queen bar in Patpong. In the ever-changing field of Bangkok red-light blogs and websites, Morledge’s persistent longevity is really quite admirable and worth a look every month.

Joy from the Missippi Queen Bar, circa 1970s. See Bangkokeyes.com.

Joy from the Mississippi Queen Bar, circa 1970s. See Bangkokeyes.com.

Red-Light Bloggers Still Pounding Away

Mobi d’Ark. Our friend Mobi is also, bless his soul, still having a seat in front of his keyboard and sharing his thoughts and impressions of the world of a Pattaya expat. He is also making available his literary efforts online, and should you be interested in Thailand-based fiction, have a look at his offerings. Mobi, who has endured various hardships this past year, remains a stalwart of the Thai blogging scene. We hope he keeps at it.

Finally, for those of you who miss the Big Mango Bar blog, rest assured that you can still get your fix over at Mango Unchained, a continuation of sorts of the old blog, only a bit more subdued and with a great improvement in the quality of the writing. Graham, who moderates the blog, does an excellent job selecting stories and keeping things moving along.

The premise behind the blog is that these are stories that feature things to do away from the neon glare of the bars themselves, and focus more on expat life in the company of your special Thai lady friends. These are often interesting vignettes into the strange habits and ways of the Thai lady, and how they behave outside of captivity. However, you will still find a story or two about an amusing pub crawl. Well worth a look in 2014.

The Year Ahead

Speaking of special Thai lady friends, look for more of Saphan Loy’s words of wisdom on the treatment of our executive assistant, Lek. As ever, we will task her with various degrading assignments throughout Bangkok, ferreting out information for use in this column. She is quite the สายลับ and she knows the backstreets of our mean city like the back of her graceful, elongated hands.

So, as long as you are sober or sane enough to type a URL into your browser, or remember to make Saphan Loy your main source of information on all things Thai red-light blogs, we will endeavour to type up this column for your edification. Lek and I wish you and yours a very Happy Christmas and New Year, and may all of your red-light district experiences be sordid and disgraceful! Who knows? Perhaps we will meet somewhere on Patpong and I will happily autograph your Thai bargirl’s small, boy-like breasts (with No. 2 pencil eraser nipples) with my felt-tip pen. For a nominal fee, of course.

With that, we leave you with Saphan Loy’s Girl of the New Year! Enjoy!

Saphan Loy’s Girl of the New Year:

The Lovely Kim XXX or Manga

Kim XXX, or Manga, Thai German Porn Star
Kim XXX, or Manga, Thai-German Porn Star

Name: Kim XXX, or Manga

Official Website 

Age: 26

Nationality: German

Languages: German and Thai

Special Skills: Engaging in depraved group sex scenes with German men,

consuming the semen of multiple donors, Thai cooking, reading “ka-toon”

Kim XXX, or Manga, is an amazing actress, and a real Thai sweetheart. She is a Thai sex machine who speaks German. What more could one ask for? Her performance range is unlike anything you will likely see in your alcoholically foreshortened lifetimes. She is petite, hard-bodied, and pumped up with enough silicone to firestop a skyscraper. Her twisted German overlords feature her on a site called German Goo Girls (I’ll leave it to you to do your own research), where they make her the degraded object of their Teutonic perversions. Happy New Year, Manga!

The View from Above

ThaiPeeps Revisited

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 7, 2013 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy’s first foray into the blogging world was back in 2006. It’s hard to believe that we have been at it for seven years, and I suppose we can insert all sorts of cliches about the passage of time here. Much has changed in Thailand and the world in that time, and the red light blogs have eroded in both quality and content during that time as well. With miscreants like Big Baby Kenny Ng appearing on the scene, and the vicious attack on perhaps one of the finest Thailand nightlife blogs, the legendary MangoSauce, things really haven’t been the same since the 2000s.

Lek and I finally decided to revisit ThaiPeeps, which has always been there as a kind of archive of sorts. We cleaned up the way it looks to make it simpler, and removed any links to videos that have since been deleted or withdrawn from YouTube. Although we haven’t added any YouTube videos to ThaiPeeps in a long time, the Blogger platform nonetheless allows for continued uploading without any expense to yours truly. This is certainly one area that WordPress may wish to explore, although to be fair Blogger and YouTube are both owned by Google.

That said, I invite you to have a look around at some of the videos curated there. The one we’ve selected above still interests us, for purely intellectual reasons. And if you come across anything on YouTube that might be of interest, please send the link to be added to ThaiPeeps. For one person (or two if we count Lek), the task is too time consuming (i.e., looking at YouTube all day to separate the wheat from the chaff.)  Only Big Baby Kenny Ng has that kind of free time. But I am always happy to see something interesting, particularly if it offers a glimpse into the Thai worldview that is otherwise difficult to obtain.

Red Light Roundup

Nothing much happening in the Red Light whoreblogs, which partially explains the long absence. This week’s Stickman is worth a look, as he generally seems to do much better when he hands the microphone over to someone else. It could very well be that the people he tends to interview are infinitely more interesting than he is, which is probably not a significant hurdle to begin with. In this week’s column the owner of the former Mississippi Queen discusses the filming of the classic American war film The Deer Hunter (1978) at the bar and what it was like to meet with Robert De Niro in his suite at the Oriental, which is an interesting story indeed.

However, Stick also seems to have literally torn a page from the playlist of Bangkok Eyes, in that the subject this week is a somewhat historical journey into the past to what Patpong was like at a time when Professor Big Baby Kenny Ng was awaking from his very first wet dream. Generally, we prefer to visit Bangkok Eyes when we need our fill of historical pictures and the like, since our friend William R. Morledge has been documenting the history of the red-light districts of Bangkok since the very inception of Bangkok Eyes. It could also very well be that we will see many more such stories, which are likely efforts to stimulate the remaining brain cells of Stickman’s growing demographic of Viagra eaters and ailing pensioners.

In other news, Mobithailand, who is still alive and relatively well and blogging about his experiences in Pattaya, has suffered a few set-backs recently, including a harrowing financial ordeal that is probably more reflective of a disintegrating world economy than anything else. However he has completed his novel A Lust for Life and has made it available to anyone who knows how to make use of a computer, and also read the English language. That essentially eliminates anyone who comments on the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng site. Anyway, Mobi also has received a mention on the Stickman site recently, which has significantly increased his traffic. Have a mosey on over to read about his continuing saga (and to see photographs of his very lovely Noo sitting on his piano bench).

We have it on good authority that it has been hot in Bangkok. Remain cool, put ice in your beer, and enjoy your water-making activities. Both indoors and out.

The View from Above

Tastes Like Chicken

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Saphan Loy has harped in the past on the gross violations of good faith that the Big Fat Baby Kenny Ng has exhibited on his ill-fated website bigbabykenny.com. He has eschewed all rational ethics (such as they are) and generally-accepted behavioural norms of self-publishing, and has demonstrated an extraordinarily rudimentary kind of schoolyard monkey-mind in his absurd treatment of other writers and bloggers (Saphan Loy included) that calls into question a few puzzling riddles about the kind of man Kenneth Ng really is. What we can glean from his sex tourism blog is that he is quite seriously mentally ill and certainly sex-addicted, with far-reaching fetishes that most likely include coprophagia, a behaviour he shares with dogs.

Generally speaking, most college professors are borderline deranged anyway, but usually in a harmless or quirky way. Perhaps they like crossword puzzles, for example. Or maybe they collect stamps, tea cozies, or antique bottles.  Not Ng. His perversions must certainly poison every classroom he enters, and he likely repels unsuspecting undergraduates with his pornographic avocation worn proudly on his sleeve without shame. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but professors, like any authority figure, should be held accountable to a standard that is elevated. For example, when Jimmy Smithers underwent a colonoscopy recently (see the article and the many interesting comments here), he would not expect that the doctor (were he a male) would be a deranged sex tourist. Indeed, were you or I to find out this information on the operating table, we would likely be dismayed and attempt to halt the procedure by abruptly pulling the IV from our veins and putting on our trousers.

Similarly, were you or I to sit down in a classroom, and the authority figure (the professor) had the reputation of an eager third world prostitute john which preceded him internationally, it would immediately colour our expectations and our feelings of comfort, which may, in turn, compel us to leave (unless of course his course were required). That the California State University of Northridge seems to be heading in the direction of purging their classrooms of deviants is an encouraging sign. In addition, the state’s impoverished university system has far too many other problems to worry about. And when the day comes when Big Baby Kenny Ng is called to the carpet, he will find his worst fears realized: directionless, he will go to Thailand, his head hanging low, where he will be forced to eke out a living there as a teacher in a mediocre university, working like a dog for a pittance of a salary, and having to deal with the indignity of “visa runs” and empty bank accounts for the rest of his natural days.

Which brings us to Ng’s latest salvo in a long campaign of misinformation: the origins of Saphan Loy. We (Lek and I) will not address Big Baby Kenny Ng’s retarded speculations regarding the ownership structure of Saphan Loy. We trust that our readers are capable of informed critical analysis and educated opinion, unlike the fat man’s bogus readership of the criminally insane.

In other news from the blogosphere, there are rumours circulating that Big Baby Kenny is now in Bangkok (see here and here), and it is our hope that he enjoys his sex holiday. After a whole semester spent looking at his unattainable and tantalizing coeds in his unendurable lectures, he needs one of two things: a cold shower or a trip to Bangkok. Teacher Tim Torkildson the Clown has returned to Stickman after a very brief hiatus. He wrote a piece last week that announced his return, and the take-down notice was removed by TEFL International. Due to the highly volatile discussions around his contract with TEFL International and the tense negotiations around his salary, it is nice to see that the details have been ironed out and we can once again enjoy Tim the Clown’s quirky take on life in a Thai classroom, and his musings on having romantic liaisons with Thai women.

On a much more serious note, Mobi over at Mobithailand.com is having open-heart surgery in Bangkok early next week. We at Saphan Loy wish him the best and a speedy recovery, and look forward to his return. I have to admit that having open-heart surgery in Thailand (or anywhere for that matter) is a courageous act of healthcare, which requires a lot of support and well-wishes. Take a moment to drop him a line.

Finally, in Stickman’s latest and greatest (a boring description of Siam Square), one of his deranged readers submitted a letter that is even more insulting than the feces that emanates from Big Baby Kenny Ng’s keyboard. In essence, the letter (reproduced below) is a horribly disrespectful analogy between fast food and Thai bar girls. It reveals a sickened mind and a non-existent moral conscience. By reproducing it here, it is Saphan Loy’s hope that it will draw appropriate levels of outrage. Who is so callous as to compare a young woman to fried chicken? I put this question to my office assistant, Lek, and she replied with a colourful expression of her own, a derogatory term that combines the words “farang” and bird-shit. In short, we were both stunned by this abortion of a letter penned by some Pattaya vagrant who prefers shirts without sleeves, his beer in tin cans, and his “fried chicken” in plastic buckets. A word of advice for this highly-evolved specimen of humanity: in future restrict the audience of your tortured similes to yourself, your psychotherapist, or your local clergyman only.

Reprinted in its entirety here:

Visiting Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy compared to visiting McDonalds, you have a hunger, you go there for convenience, it’s gaudy, bright and trashy inside, you see what you think you want, you order it and take it away, but when you get outside you realise that what you really have is a bag in your hand that’s full of shit, you know it’s wrong and that you shouldn’t, but you have it anyway.  Temporarily you feel satisfied, you walk away leaving your trash behind!  Comparing the pay for play experience to KFC, nothing at all intellectual about the experience, once you’re done with the breast and thigh all that you’re left with is a useless greasy box to put your bone in!

As ever, we suppose it is of no surprise that there are those who think like this miscreant and who frequent Big Baby Kenny Ng’s site regularly. That Stickman, however, published this “gem” speaks to his complicity in the degradation of prostitutes (who should nonetheless be afforded some dignity and the most basic of human respect) in his adopted city. In our minds, what is far worse than the typing of this atrocity is the publishing it for the general public.

The View from Above

The Big Top Disappears and other news

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , on May 15, 2012 by สะพานลอย

Goose Barnacles adhere to a washed up bucket of some sort, in the same way that Ng’s now deleted puppet comments formed accretions of madness and debauchery upon the simple-minded posts that he spent hours crafting.

Here, from the Saphan Loy, we are delighted by the cosmetic improvements over at Professor Ng’s Economics of the Thai Brothel District site.  In one fell swoop, his entire puppet show has been deleted, revealing instead the skeletal Potempkin village of his pointless posts upon which the barnacles of inane gibberish generated by his puppet factory (the voices inside his diseased skull) clung like the poisonous crustaceans that they were. We are delighted to see his site stripped of its obscenity. Perhaps this will free up Ng’s time so as to allow him to stand in front of a classroom again, or adequately prepare for his dry lectures, maybe console some confused female students during office hours, or do what a ranking professor ought to do: namely, write an academic article.

In other news, Teacher Tim the Clown has ended his run over on Stickman Bangkok. Perhaps the Clown in Chief at the TEFL International certificate mill rued his decision. Or maybe he will enlist some newly graduated backpacker cum ESL teacher and have her write some pithy think-pieces on the vagaries of living in the Land of Smile. It is very possible that the PR disaster that TEFL International created is far from reversible at this point. Whatever the case, Saphan Loy is hopeful that Teacher Tim will continue to make his presence felt on YouTube. In fact, our childish fear of clowns aside, we at Saphan Loy (Lek and myself) are happy to make room on this blog should he wish to continue blogging.

Here, Professor Ng advises two students during office hours. They are depicted here helping one another read one of Ng’s required readings.

The View from Above

“Sticks” and Stones

Posted in สะพานลอย with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2011 by สะพานลอย

This week, Stickman took aim at nearly every writer on the Thailand brothel-scene who does not plaster his site with antiquated banner ads or molly coddle sex tourists in Thailand, calling these writers, bloggers, and various forum lurkers “weirdos”, “shit-stirrers”, etc. With all of the self-righteousness of a Catholic school boy, Stickman’s attacks left Saphan Loy wondering whether he is the right man for the job of pitching to his motley collection of readers places like Demonia, Devil’s Den, Lolita’s, Ladyboy Escorts, Big Mango Bar and others. Were we an advertiser on his site, we would be somewhat concerned: someone with a foot fetish is “on another wavelength”? What does that mean? There are those of us (like Jimmy Smithers and Big Baby Kenny Ng) who adore ladyboys and have foot fetishes. I know for one that Jimmy Smithers was so profoundly offended by the Stickman’s rambling tirade that he nearly incapacitated himself with an overdose of Wild Turkey and Pepto-Bismol.

Meanwhile, when not feigning astonishment about other people’s sexual predilections (foot fetishes, ladyboys, etc.), his bleeding heart reaction to some German drifter really takes the cake. I mean, really. Freud would have a field-day with the utter irony represented by his entire website. It is clear that Michael, the German drifter, who clearly suffers from schizophrenia, was sucked into the vortex of the very kinds of places advertised on the Stick-site, then suffered the consequences of a lost mind and an empty bank account. The only way the German embassy will intervene, incidentally, is if Michael dies on the street, or is murdered, or asks for help himself. Surely, the consular officers have better things to do with their time than read the Stick site. How can you even be sure he is German? He may even be a spy whose cover is a homeless sex addict with a mental illness.

So is the Stick biting the proverbial hands that feed him? Were I an owner of Demonia and had an event like the foot fetish event (that looks quite intriguing) mocked as being perverted or, as he puts it, “on another wavelength”, or were I an owner of Big Mango Bar and had my place called the “coldest bar” in Bangkok, Saphan Loy would seek other advertising venues that were kinder and gentler.

In targeting other writers on the Thailand scene, the Stick makes it clear that anyone who diverges from the pat and glib “gosh golly” tone that he effects when dealing with a very serious subject matter (i.e., sex tourism and transnational promotion of prostitution) is thus labeled a “weirdo” or a “shit-stirrer.” It goes to show that in New Zealand, political correctness of a different sort rules the roost and the freedom of expression is but a vaporous mirage of western European and North American ideals that enshrine the right to free speech. Furthermore, we now know the following about Stickman:

  • He doesn’t bar fine.
  • He doesn’t like ladyboys.
  • He does not have a foot fetish.
  • He prefers to take his mother to Soi Cowboy.

Just who is Stickman Bangkok? And why doesn’t he start a blog about another topic, one which he is more qualified to write about? Like the homeless situation in Bangkok, or the dangers of freedom of expression on the Internet, or teaching English in a language mill, or just how perverted foot fetishes are? Better yet, how about a little blog about rugby. See how many banner ads he can sell for that project, thus avoiding the “nasty” characters that comprise his readers.

Jimmy Smithers, Big Baby Kenny Ng, and Dean Barrett love bare feet.

Because Saphan Loy was embarrassed for the Stick by his latest blunder of a column, we are listing (gratis) the Big Mango Bar (which is not the coldest bar in Bangkok) and Demonia in our Views You Can Use section. The ladies of Demonia may thank me with a solid ass-whipping and the privilege of licking their bare toes.

The View from Above